Love or logic: you choose

24/09/2011 at 10:45 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments
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Joan thought she knew where she was going… do you?

One of my all-time favourite movies is I Know Where I’m Going, starring Wendy Hiller and Roger Livesey. This 1945 black and white romance is drenched with subdued passion and iron determination, against the turbulent backdrop of the Western Isles of Scotland.

In the movie, Hiller plays Joan Webster, an ambitious young woman who is set to marry Sir Robert Bellinger, a wealthy, older business man. She travels up to the Scottish Isles for her wedding. But stormy weather prevents Joan from taking the boat to the island of Killoran, where her future husband, who is playing laird, awaits her.

While the wind rages outside, Joan is thrown together with dashing naval officer Torquil McNeil, who turns out to be the authentic, cash-strapped laird of Killoran.

We’ve all faced the dilemma between head and heart.

Joan has decided her future – she’s going to marry for money… but her heart is beginning to tell her otherwise. And this dilemma within Joan is where much of the film’s timeless appeal lies.

The thing is, we can all be a bit like Joan Webster. We know where we are going, don’t we? We make plans, based on practical considerations rather than heartfelt ones. Maybe, for example, we trained for a particular career, because there were supposedly better job prospects, even though deep down we knew we’d prefer a completely different career path.

Maybe we chose the house we didn’t love, or even the partner we didn’t have a passion for, because we decided to be sensible.

A life-time of small compromises based on the head ruling the heart can even lead, eventually, to chronic ill-health, breakdown, or crisis.

Head-based decisions are based on fear

It’s wise to use logic as a back-up tool to predict what would happen if we followed our heart, and to make some adjustments where necessary. We nevertheless have to take notice of what our innermost feelings are telling us, because they are our most authentic guide. If we don’t, the universe has a great way of getting us back on track. It will start with small obstacles…  then bigger and bigger ones, until we become aware, and change our course. Joan Webster was so determined not to listen to her feelings, it took a giant storm to stop her from making a giant mistake.

Heart-based decisions are based on love

Heart-based decisions are so easy to spot. They’re the decisions that make you happy. They’re the ones that feel right.

Heart-based decisions are not to be confused with infatuation. Infatuation has a totally different vibration. If you find it hard to tell the difference between infatuation and love, try the following easy intuitive exercise. Make it a standard tool in your intuition toolbox.

You can use this technique specifically to check out the nature of your relationship with another person.

Intuition exercise to spot authentic love

Sit quietly, without disturbance. Take a few deep and even breaths. Feel your thoughts settling down; let them go.

Now picture the other person in your mind’s eye. See them in detail. Just observe them, without making any judgements or comments.

Now, picture or sense a cord connecting the two of you. The cord goes into each person’s solar plexus, just beneath the rib cage.

Now, simply observe, or sense, the cord in more detail. What colour is it? What texture? How does it feel? Is it in glowing, good condition, or looking tired and frayed? Is it a pleasant colour, or an unpleasant one? What is your overall impression of the cord: healthy, or unhealthy?

A healthy cord clearly signifies a healthy, authentic relationship. An unhealthy cord tell you the relationship either needs work, or has no future. To find out which, you will need to do further intuitive work.

See what happens if you try to clean up the cord. Now pour unconditional love into the cord… Is the cord improving in its condition, or is it not?

Regular meditation for 15 or 20 minutes daily will help to quieten the mind enough to help you to see and sense such energies more clearly. And revisiting this exercise can show the cord making improvements over time.

Finally, we listen

In I Know Where I’m Going, Joan Webster finally starts listening to her heart. When she does so, the storm vanishes, and she is filled with a new energy – she knows exactly what to do next.

When we follow our heart, we too find life around us becomes less bumpy. We experience an increase in joy and synchronicity. We feel more authentically ourselves. We are back on track.


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  1. Fascinating! You have certainly given me something to think about with this one.
    I am looking forward to meditation and doing the ‘cord’ experiment.
    Will let you know how I get on.
    Love, Peace and light.

  2. Thank you for your kind comments, Barbara. The cord meditation is so useful – hope you find it so : )

  3. Your words are so inspirational but I feel I still have a lot of work to do on this. My thoughts are all over the place at the moment and I know I must take many quiet moments to be still and meditate. When I can concentrate fully on this topic I am sure I will gain so much. Thank you for sharing this. Love and Blessings.

  4. Is it too late to leave a comment? I hope not. ‘I Know Where I’m Going’ is one of my favorite movies too! In Alaska, where I live, few have heard of it. I love the metaphor at its heart. I also love the ballad of the title name. All quite wonderful.
    I’ve been following your blogs for several years now, and have felt a tiny twinge of guilt about not commenting or taking part, so perhaps this is my first step, lol. For me just receiving and looking through your blogs has been a ray of gentle light.
    I’m in a program that teaches us to look at those cords we have with others, so I found your tool useful and complementary – another way to have integrity and wisdom around our relationships. Looking at a cord in our mind’s eye allows us to see it without the emotion that can blind us (I speak of myself for sure, lol). Thank you.

    • Thank you for being in touch Kathy. ‘I Know Where I’m Going’ isn’t well known in the UK either! But it’s great to see how the message endures. I’m glad you found the cord exercise useful. You reminded me of it, in fact, and I now plan share it in one of my group meditations later this month. So it’s never too late to leave a comment!

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