Suzanne Askham

Wellbeing notes: Why get-togethers are so good for us

I was meeting three old friends in a local, independent coffee shop. It was one of those mellow afternoons that seem drenched in sunshine and fun. Over cups of tea and latte, we were putting the world to rights. One of us, I forget who, said, “Look at us, four heads bobbing round a table.” And we shared one of those belly-filling laughs that leave you feeling simply good about life. 

It had taken us ages to find a day that suited everyone. For the longest time we settled for group chats online. And those did help… but that coffee shop get-together was better. There were moments, between the fun, when one or another of us shared a difficult situation. We unburdened, and that felt good. We listened, and that felt life-affirming. 

After our get-together I started appreciating other social moments in life that maybe I had taken for granted. These were mainly simple things, like a chat with a colleague or a customer. But what I noticed was that these ephemeral exchanges could pack in a huge range of emotions, from a recent dire experience that could fairly be described as ‘pants’, to the sharing of a moment of sheer happiness. They were mini doses of everyday therapy. 

It’s common sense that regular doses of talking and listening would be good for us. But what happens if we’ve become a bit isolated? I like the advice of Age UK, which can apply to any time of life: ‘If you have lost connections, take small steps to start rebuilding.’ So if by any chance you’ve been wondering, please take this as your invitation to join that club or social group, to follow your interests and enjoy the chats that will undoubtedly follow.