Suzanne Askham

Wellbeing notes: Lighting a candle for loved ones

On Christmas Eve I love to step out into the fresh air to drop off last minute gifts and cards. Last December, as I went from one household to the next, I enjoyed glimpsing different interiors, some brightly lit with festive lights, others quieter, but each one a home. 

One hall contained a special candle, lit for loved ones who had passed on. It was a touching reminder that we all suffer loss. These I remember: a white-haired neighbour in her cosy kitchen. My uncle who loved trains and working with wood. A friend who sent uplifting texts. And the gaps they’ve left behind will never quite be filled, because they were unique and wonderful beings. 

That beautiful sister who sewed ballgowns by hand; the handsome boyfriend of a friend who seemed a keeper; the grandmother who took pleasure in sending hundreds of cards; the pet who went missing one too many times… these individuals were all loved and then they were mourned. 

Since they left, new babies have been born. New friends have been made. New pets have been adopted. Life absolutely does go on. But remembering absent kith and kin is a golden part of the season. Because Christmas is above all about love. And, while we will always miss the ones who went before us, the love they left lives on.