Wellbeing notes: Being peaceful in a hectic world
01/04/2024 at 1:05 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 1 CommentTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, life skills, meditation, mindfulness, nature, Splendid Fairywren, wellbeing
A good friend once lived in a serene flat on a lively street. Cars sped past. Lorries lumbered. But in my friend’s lounge there was a picture of a temple garden that seemed to invite the viewer to breathe, and relax.
I’ve always loved the contrast between busyness and peace. Perhaps it dates back to an old tollbar cottage that my grandparents used to live in. We children slept under sloping eaves. Outside, cars zoomed. Inside, all was still. Yes, the traffic held dangers. But in the cottage, we always felt safe.
Now, this can require a certain amount of work, a shift of mindset. But sometimes, when you are surrounded by bustle, that’s when you can feel especially peaceful.
There is an old story that illustrates this. Weighed down by state business, an emperor was hungry for tranquillity. Three of the best artists in the land were summoned to produce a painting that would help him to feel calm.
The first artist painted a still lake. The second created an untrodden, snowy landscape. “Very nice,” said the emperor. And then he turned to the final painting, which didn’t seem tranquil at all: a forest waterfall crashing down from a great height. “This is the one,” exclaimed the emperor to his puzzled courtiers. And he pointed to a nest, where a bird slept soundly. “That,” said the emperor, “is true tranquillity.”
However hectic the world may be, I wish you the peace of true tranquillity.
Wellbeing notes: Believe, dream, rinse, repeat
01/03/2024 at 6:23 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 CommentsTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, life skills, meditation, Mind body spirit, wellbeing
Recently I spent a couple of days by the sea. The apartment was a quiet, uncluttered space. There was little in the way of decoration – why compete with the marvellous view? However, the few decorative touches – cushions, pebbles, wall art – featured a bunch of positive slogans, often with a maritime feel.
At first I smiled and then basically ignored the uplifting messages. But in an eyrie with little else to distract the eye (when not actually looking at the view), these pieces of advice gradually sunk in, like a sort of mantra. Dream, invited a pebble by the front door. Believe in your dreams, urged a canvas above the kitchen sink. By the sea all worries wash away, whispered a driftwood panel above the harbour boats.
And actually, I decided, it was very sound advice. How often have you dreamed of something you would love to have in your life and then decided that it wouldn’t be possible, for one reason or another? But it’s okay to believe in a broadly positive future. There is always room for hope.
And then what about the idea that water can wash away your troubles? I have a friend who has struggled with mental health issues, who has found that outdoor swimming stops the spiral of destructive thoughts like nothing else. Although that’s not for everyone, even a simple, candlelit bath can shift the mood quite wonderfully. What dream do you have? What dream will you believe in today?
Wellbeing notes: Lighting a candle for loved ones
01/12/2023 at 1:13 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 1 CommentTags: Bereavement, Christmas reflections, Guidance, healing, inspiration, mindfulness, Spirituality
On Christmas Eve I love to step out into the fresh air to drop off last minute gifts and cards. Last December, as I went from one household to the next, I enjoyed glimpsing different interiors, some brightly lit with festive lights, others quieter, but each one a home.
One hall contained a special candle, lit for loved ones who had passed on. It was a touching reminder that we all suffer loss. These I remember: a white-haired neighbour in her cosy kitchen. My uncle who loved trains and working with wood. A friend who sent uplifting texts. And the gaps they’ve left behind will never quite be filled, because they were unique and wonderful beings.
That beautiful sister who sewed ballgowns by hand; the handsome boyfriend of a friend who seemed a keeper; the grandmother who took pleasure in sending hundreds of cards; the pet who went missing one too many times… these individuals were all loved and then they were mourned.
Since they left, new babies have been born. New friends have been made. New pets have been adopted. Life absolutely does go on. But remembering absent kith and kin is a golden part of the season. Because Christmas is above all about love. And, while we will always miss the ones who went before us, the love they left lives on.
Wellbeing notes: Sparrowhawk meditation
01/10/2023 at 12:19 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: Guidance, inspiration, meditation, mindfulness, nature, wellbeing
To live surrounded by nature is a privilege, and one I don’t take for granted. It feels extra special when animals – deer and hares in particular, as well as countless birds – trust humans enough to come up close.
Recently, this particular bird came calling: a female sparrowhawk. She was striking in every sense: strong, watchful and beautiful. I’d never seen one in such detail before, and was curious to read about her.
The Eurasian sparrowhawk, also known as Accipiter nisus, is a modestly sized bird of prey. They live in woodland, and hunt smaller birds. Used in falconry, they’ve featured in poems, myths and stories from many cultures.
The sparrowhawk, small and fierce, is said to represent a warrior’s inner spirit, complete with a clear-sighted ability to see the whole picture. A simple meditation on these qualities can be uplifting and energising.
Sit somewhere quietly. Take relaxed, even breaths. Then close your eyes and focus with your thoughts on the sparrowhawk’s characteristics – whatever comes to mind. You might think of its striped feathers and far-seeing eyes, You might think of its beauty, boldness and strength.
As you continue to breathe in and out, be aware that those qualities are also within you. Feel a purposeful power filling the whole of your being. Enjoy that sense of strength; truly own it. And when you’re ready, open your eyes.
I hope you enjoy this nature meditation. The message of the sparrowhawk ultimately comes down to this: you are stronger and more able than you think.
Wellbeing notes: The therapy of small things
01/06/2023 at 9:57 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 CommentsTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, life skills, mindfulness, nature, wellbeing
I’d come home from a really stressful term of studies. I was questioning everything I’d ever learnt, anxious about the truth and direction of my life.
Home at that time was an Italian villa by a lake where water buffalo roamed, and mafiosi ruled. Home seemed so different from the English university I’d just left. And the contrast just made things worse.
But then something small happened. I was walking in the garden, between green lemon trees and a wall where purple bougainvillea grew. Beneath the wall, my mother and brother were positioning a section of flattened tree trunk. “It’s a bench,” my mum explained.
Curiously, when she said that, something within me settled. All those big questions, crowding my mind… they were abstract problems. You couldn’t touch them, like you could touch the lemon trees or the bougainvillea. And a bench in the garden where people could sit, and maybe heal from whatever was troubling them… you could touch that.
Right then, I began to appreciate the therapy of small things.
Fast forward to present times, to Wiltshire, in England. Last week, a young family friend came to stay, anxious and needing a break from uni. There was no handy tree trunk to turn into a bench. But I was looking after my neighbours’ hens. So, I invited her to help me feed them.
As the hens tucked into lettuce, she visibly relaxed. “I needed this,” she said.
And I hoped then that the therapy of small things had found another fan.
Wellbeing notes: Teachings from an ancient flower
31/03/2023 at 9:09 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 1 CommentTags: Guidance, inspiration, magnolias, mindfulness, nature, wellbeing, wisdom
There’s a magnolia tree that I know and love. With spring blooms of velvet pink, it brings pleasure to all who view it. But my magnolia is more than just a bunch of gorgeous flowers. Its cup-shaped blossoms tell an ancient story. And if I slow down enough to listen to that story, wellbeing results. Here are a few of magnolia’s insights.
‘Age is relative’
Magnolias have been growing for 20 million years. In comparison, humans are so young. It is believed that we have been on this planet for a mere 300,000 years. We are new-born babes compared with the magnolia tree. Maybe we should cut ourselves some slack. We are still learning, and that’s okay.
‘Think out of the box’
Magnolias evolved long before the arrival of bees. So, they attract a much older insect: flightless beetles, that chomp the sticky nectar. So, next time you’re grappling with a tricky problem, you might think of an alternative, ‘magnolia’ solution.
‘It’s fine to be a late bloomer’
Although my favourite magnolia tree flowers in spring, it likes to have a small, colourful flurry later in the year. And so it is with our own talents and interests. We are never too old to do something new.
‘Plan ahead’
By December, my magnolia will be covered in countless tight buds. The tree will protect them over winter, then enjoy a head start next spring. In the same spirit of looking ahead, what could you prepare today, in order to better use your energy tomorrow?
Wellbeing notes: Farewell, lovely meditations
01/12/2022 at 8:19 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 CommentsTags: friendship, Guidance, life skills, meditation, Mind body spirit, Spirituality, wellbeing
For the past 14 years I’ve hosted weekly meditation groups. They’ve brought me masses of pleasure, as I hope they have for countless attendees. But we’re not built to do the same thing all our lives, and this month the doors will close for the last time on our peaceful meetings. To mark the moment, I thought I’d include some memories here, with thanks to all the fabulous souls who participated…
Meditation is not always quiet. The biggest secret about our sessions were that they were a 50/50 mix of chat and silence. The chat always had a theme – and sometimes that theme required a little noise. So let’s hear it for Trevor on the accordion and Kerstie on the Native American flute, not to mention the noisy swarm of bees that once perched on the wild cherry tree outside.
Meditators came from far and wide. We shared quiet times with guests from all over the world. Our youngest meditator was a very new baby. Our furriest attendee was a cat. Our most surprised visitor was the courier who tried to deliver to a room full of people sitting with their eyes closed – at least we weren’t chanting!
Those who meditate are creative – maybe the practice of stilling the mind helps ideas to flow. We have shared paintings, pottery, screen-printing, poetry, glasswork, and many other beautiful creations.
Meditation doesn’t have to take place in one room. During the pandemic, we went online. Other years we enjoyed the local countryside, including sacred Avebury, and neighbouring Somerset. The truth, as we discovered, is that peace, calm and kindness can flourish wherever we choose. And along the way, enduring friendships are made.
Building up your kindness muscles
06/12/2021 at 11:26 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: Guidance, happiness, inspiration, kindness, life skills, loving kindness, meditation, Mind body spirit, mindfulness, personal growth, Spirituality, wellbeing
A wise person once said to me, “The most important thing you can learn to do is to forgive.” The act of forgiving has become a life-long lesson. It’s hard to forgive someone who has hurt me personally, or hurt others whom I care about, but there is something freeing about the act.
A useful tool if you wish to become more forgiving is to practise loving kindness meditation. Sometimes called Metta bhavana in the language of early Buddhist texts, or simply ‘Metta meditation’, the concept predates Buddhism, suggesting that kindness is part of our human character.
Try this common form of metta meditation. Close your eyes and think kindly thoughts towards yourself. You might say, silently: “May I be well. May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease with myself.”
Then, think of someone you love. Repeat those same kind thoughts: “May you be well. May you be happy. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease with yourself.”
Then, think of someone you feel neutral towards. Cultivate the same feelings of non- judgemental kindness, and repeat the same words: “May you be well…”
And now, think of someone you find difficult, and repeat the process again, as best you can.
Finally, think of all four people together, in the same spirit of loving kindness, and repeat the words: “May we be well. May we be happy. May we be safe. May we be peaceful and at ease with ourselves.”
Wellbeing notes: do these three things every day
01/11/2021 at 11:02 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: Guidance, inspiration, meditation, Mind body spirit, personal growth, self-care, self-development, wellbeing
Message from the oracle deck
03/08/2021 at 5:28 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, Intuition, intuitive development, Mind body spirit, oracle, self-care, Spirituality, wellbeing
There is a pack of oracle cards, called the Oracle of Illumination, that was given to me by Vivien, a dear friend whom I met during my training with The Healing Trust. The bag that the cards rest in nowadays was a gift from Judith, a beloved sister of mine. Both women are now in the light, and yet it feels to me as though their kind influence is evident each time I use the cards.
This morning I drew the card, ‘Energiser’. The book that came with the deck was discarded long ago as I am one of those lawless beings who likes to receive impressions directly from an oracle, without reference to the authors’ personal interpretations. Instead, I went for a walk through the local meadows and let the word become a refrain as I strolled. And these were some of the questions in my mind.
How does the word ‘energiser’ figure in your life today? What and who energise you? What and who leave you feeling low in energy?
I realised that walking in green spaces or doing some yoga or writing my current novel can be deeply energising, even if, before the start of those exercises, I was feeling tired. In contrast, sitting still for long periods doing nothing in particular can actually deplete my energy. And although there are necessary, dull tasks in everyone’s day, making sure to include energising activities, whatever that means to you, is essential self-care.
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Suzanne Askham 