Wellbeing notes: Lighting a candle for loved ones
01/12/2023 at 1:13 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 1 CommentTags: Bereavement, Christmas reflections, Guidance, healing, inspiration, mindfulness, Spirituality
On Christmas Eve I love to step out into the fresh air to drop off last minute gifts and cards. Last December, as I went from one household to the next, I enjoyed glimpsing different interiors, some brightly lit with festive lights, others quieter, but each one a home.
One hall contained a special candle, lit for loved ones who had passed on. It was a touching reminder that we all suffer loss. These I remember: a white-haired neighbour in her cosy kitchen. My uncle who loved trains and working with wood. A friend who sent uplifting texts. And the gaps they’ve left behind will never quite be filled, because they were unique and wonderful beings.
That beautiful sister who sewed ballgowns by hand; the handsome boyfriend of a friend who seemed a keeper; the grandmother who took pleasure in sending hundreds of cards; the pet who went missing one too many times… these individuals were all loved and then they were mourned.
Since they left, new babies have been born. New friends have been made. New pets have been adopted. Life absolutely does go on. But remembering absent kith and kin is a golden part of the season. Because Christmas is above all about love. And, while we will always miss the ones who went before us, the love they left lives on.
Wellbeing notes: Farewell, lovely meditations
01/12/2022 at 8:19 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 CommentsTags: friendship, Guidance, life skills, meditation, Mind body spirit, Spirituality, wellbeing
For the past 14 years I’ve hosted weekly meditation groups. They’ve brought me masses of pleasure, as I hope they have for countless attendees. But we’re not built to do the same thing all our lives, and this month the doors will close for the last time on our peaceful meetings. To mark the moment, I thought I’d include some memories here, with thanks to all the fabulous souls who participated…
Meditation is not always quiet. The biggest secret about our sessions were that they were a 50/50 mix of chat and silence. The chat always had a theme – and sometimes that theme required a little noise. So let’s hear it for Trevor on the accordion and Kerstie on the Native American flute, not to mention the noisy swarm of bees that once perched on the wild cherry tree outside.
Meditators came from far and wide. We shared quiet times with guests from all over the world. Our youngest meditator was a very new baby. Our furriest attendee was a cat. Our most surprised visitor was the courier who tried to deliver to a room full of people sitting with their eyes closed – at least we weren’t chanting!
Those who meditate are creative – maybe the practice of stilling the mind helps ideas to flow. We have shared paintings, pottery, screen-printing, poetry, glasswork, and many other beautiful creations.
Meditation doesn’t have to take place in one room. During the pandemic, we went online. Other years we enjoyed the local countryside, including sacred Avebury, and neighbouring Somerset. The truth, as we discovered, is that peace, calm and kindness can flourish wherever we choose. And along the way, enduring friendships are made.
Building up your kindness muscles
06/12/2021 at 11:26 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: Guidance, happiness, inspiration, kindness, life skills, loving kindness, meditation, Mind body spirit, mindfulness, personal growth, Spirituality, wellbeing
A wise person once said to me, “The most important thing you can learn to do is to forgive.” The act of forgiving has become a life-long lesson. It’s hard to forgive someone who has hurt me personally, or hurt others whom I care about, but there is something freeing about the act.
A useful tool if you wish to become more forgiving is to practise loving kindness meditation. Sometimes called Metta bhavana in the language of early Buddhist texts, or simply ‘Metta meditation’, the concept predates Buddhism, suggesting that kindness is part of our human character.
Try this common form of metta meditation. Close your eyes and think kindly thoughts towards yourself. You might say, silently: “May I be well. May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease with myself.”
Then, think of someone you love. Repeat those same kind thoughts: “May you be well. May you be happy. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease with yourself.”
Then, think of someone you feel neutral towards. Cultivate the same feelings of non- judgemental kindness, and repeat the same words: “May you be well…”
And now, think of someone you find difficult, and repeat the process again, as best you can.
Finally, think of all four people together, in the same spirit of loving kindness, and repeat the words: “May we be well. May we be happy. May we be safe. May we be peaceful and at ease with ourselves.”
Dancing goddess – a (free) audio meditation
15/08/2021 at 1:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: free meditation, inner goddess, meditation, meditation inspiration, Mind body spirit, self-care, Spirituality, visualisation, wellbeing
Friend Sue picked the theme for this week’s meditation, but she couldn’t make the actual event, so I decided to record the meditation for her, and for others who might like to hear it. May it relax and empower you.
Photo: Julia Caesar/Unsplash
Message from the oracle deck
03/08/2021 at 5:28 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, Intuition, intuitive development, Mind body spirit, oracle, self-care, Spirituality, wellbeing
There is a pack of oracle cards, called the Oracle of Illumination, that was given to me by Vivien, a dear friend whom I met during my training with The Healing Trust. The bag that the cards rest in nowadays was a gift from Judith, a beloved sister of mine. Both women are now in the light, and yet it feels to me as though their kind influence is evident each time I use the cards.
This morning I drew the card, ‘Energiser’. The book that came with the deck was discarded long ago as I am one of those lawless beings who likes to receive impressions directly from an oracle, without reference to the authors’ personal interpretations. Instead, I went for a walk through the local meadows and let the word become a refrain as I strolled. And these were some of the questions in my mind.
How does the word ‘energiser’ figure in your life today? What and who energise you? What and who leave you feeling low in energy?
I realised that walking in green spaces or doing some yoga or writing my current novel can be deeply energising, even if, before the start of those exercises, I was feeling tired. In contrast, sitting still for long periods doing nothing in particular can actually deplete my energy. And although there are necessary, dull tasks in everyone’s day, making sure to include energising activities, whatever that means to you, is essential self-care.
Haiku – a (free) audio meditation
14/04/2020 at 5:40 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 CommentTags: dealing with change, free meditation, haiku, meditation, nature inspiration, reflections, Spirituality, visualisation
Here is your meditation for this week. I must admit I thoroughly enjoyed immersing myself in this one (although listening to my own voice is always going to be a little odd!)
This one is called ‘Haiku Meditation’. It’s from the Studio seven years back. It was inspired by possibly the world’s most famous haiku, a three-line poem written by the 17th Century Japanese poet Basho. Like all the best haiku, it references nature, and the messages that nature may bring us. The pond succinctly described in the first line can be viewed as the ‘old order’, stagnant and in need of the oxygen of change, which is brought about by frogs jumping in, creating sound and movement. The frogs produce a splash, leading to the widening ripples of change. Here is Basho’s haiku:
Old pond
Frogs jumped in
Sound of water
And here is the meditation. I hope it brings you peace and relaxation, and perhaps even a serene acceptance of the sudden nature of change. As always, I will join you in listening to this meditation at 1 pm on Thursday, or any time to suit you.
Stone Age – a (free) audio meditation
07/04/2020 at 1:22 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: healing, humanity, inspiration, meditation, nature, reflections, Spirituality
Here is your (free) audio meditation for this week. Again from the Studio seven years back, it’s a Stone Age visualisation, giving you an opportunity to imagine yourself living a truly simple life, in nature, bathing in refreshing water and breathing the freshest of air. I hope you enjoy it. I will join you listening to it in spirit this Thursday at 1 pm, or any time to suit you. So sit or lie down, relax and enjoy!
With love
Suzanne x
Stone Age Meditation
This is why we need spiritually sensitive hospitals
04/11/2018 at 4:28 pm | Posted in Healing, Uncategorized | 2 CommentsTags: healing, hospitals, icu, Spirituality
Here is a list of hospitals my son has visited. He stayed in all but three of these, which means that I have also stayed in all but three of these: Queen Mary’s Roehampton, Kingston, Royal Brompton, Great Ormond Street, Chippenham, Royal United, Wolfson Children’s, Great Western, Cheltenham General, Gloucestershire Royal, Churchill. Two of these hospitals involved prolonged stays in intensive care units. Together, they have spanned two continents. And in total they have added up to something over six months.
His dad and I, and all our family, have been extremely grateful for the care that he received. I wonder, though, looking back at over half a year of plastic mattresses and iv fluids, whether our son, the countless patients we met along the way, and their families, might have benefitted from a more overtly spiritual perspective.
According to research recently published in the Journal of Intensive Care Medicine (Ho et al, 2018): ‘There is a growing body of evidence that attending to the spiritual needs of patients and their families can improve outcomes including the quality of life, and several guidelines suggest spiritual care should be part of comprehensive health delivery. However, in practice, spiritual care is often overlooked in the management of critically ill patients.’
The Chambers English Dictionary defines the word ‘spiritual’ as:
‘Belonging, referring or relating to the spirit or soul rather than to the body or to physical things…’
And what does the dictionary mean by ‘spirit’?
‘The animating or vitalising essence or force that motivates, invigorates or energises someone or something…’
Look after the spirit
I humbly suggest that looking after the spirit that animates a person will help that person to recover. Going further, if that person is not going to recover, looking after their spirit will help them to die a good death – to be at peace at the end of life.
Spirituality, in my experience, is not a priority in hospitals. It has been largely absent from any of the wards and units my son has stayed in. There have, thankfully, been nurses and/or doctors in most (not all) of those places who have worked hard to promote emotional wellbeing. Going further, religion has been offered, but that’s not quite the same thing. As Chambers says, religion is: ‘A belief in, or the worship of, a god or gods’.
Behind the scenes, quietly, I have sensed that individual members of staff hold philosophies that prompt them unobtrusively to support a patient’s spirit – through a stillness and taking of time, through meditative techniques such as prayer or listening. But these are individual decisions, and rarely if ever shared with others.
At the other end of the scale, I have witnessed critically ill patients in a state of fearful delirium – a distressing way to transition from life.
That sense of unity
Spirituality could be described as a transcendent feeling that one is an indivisible part of the universe. It can be as simple as looking at a beautiful sunset and feeling a sense of purpose and connectedness. Or it might mean looking at another person and realising that they are simply another manifestation of the life force that animates you and everyone you love.
As a practising healer, registered with the NFSH Healing Trust, I have brought spirituality to my son in every ward that he has stayed in. But I have been unobtrusive. Occasionally I have alluded to healing methods, and my words have almost always been ignored, or invalidated with comments such as: “Well, it won’t do any harm”. When my son has fared better than medical staff expected, even surviving against the odds, there has never been any follow-up, no attempt to learn anything of the spiritual dimension that I perceive has been a factor in his recovery.
I have noticed on numerous ward rounds and outpatient appointments that medical staff rely on forms with boxes that they can tick. Fluids? Tick. Bowel movement? Tick. Antibiotics? Tick. So here is my simple request: please, dear medical staff, make sure ‘spiritual wellbeing’ is on your list of things to tick. Be sure to ask open, non-judgemental questions that will enable your patients and their families to open up about the things that will help their spiritual wellbeing.
Find out more
Spiritual Care in the Intensive Care Unit: a Narrative Review. Ho et al, Journal of Intensive Care Medicine, 2018, Vol 33(5), 279-287.
Some healers do currently work in hospitals. You can find healers through The Healing Trust, which is the largest membership association of accredited healers in the UK.
Connect with Suzanne Askham on Twitter.
Photo: rawpixel/Unsplash
Try this dreamy, let-it-all-go meditation
19/09/2018 at 6:15 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 CommentTags: guided meditation, healing, life path, meditation, self-care, Spirituality
Unexpectedly an old email surfaced in my inbox today, concerning a healing workshop back in 2014. At the workshop I delivered ‘The Path and the Fire Bowl – a Meditation’, which was designed to help people to relax and let go of emotional ‘baggage’. The participants were a wonderfully receptive group. I recorded the meditation for future use… and promptly forgot about it. So here, now, for your relaxation, is ‘The Path and the Fire Bowl – a Meditation’.
It’s dreamy and soporific, so would probably work quite well in the afternoon or evening – and definitely not while driving!
Try this simple star meditation for wellbeing
24/07/2018 at 6:48 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 CommentsTags: Exercise, healing, meditation, Mind body spirit, namaste, self-care, Spirituality
This exercise is quick and easy to do. Once you’ve learnt it, you can complete it in just six breaths. Many people find it relaxing, and it can help you step into a mindset of good health and happiness. It’s a little about the hand movements, and a lot about the visualisation you do during the sequence. You can do this every day, or whenever you feel like it.
1. Clasp your hands loosely together with the thumb pads touching. Focus on your breathing. Follow the breath as it moves in and out. As you breathe in, say the word ‘Divine’ to yourself – breathe in the word silently – and imagine a golden white ball of light, shimming and glowing right in the very centre of you. As you breathe out, say the word ‘light’ to yourself – breathe out silently – and imagine the light at the centre of you radiating outwards like a star. Imagine that the light clears away any detritus in your energy field that is no longer needed, so that you glow and shine ever more brightly.
2. With the next in-breath, keep your thumbs together, and place the two index fingers together. Repeat as above, breathing in the word ‘divine’ and breathing out the word ‘light’. Imagine the light radiating, and clearing old energies.
3. With the next in-breath, keep thumbs and index fingers together. Place the two middle fingers together. Repeat breathing and visualising as above. Imagine yourself like a star, with beautiful, life-giving rays of light streaming out in all directions.
4. With the next in-breath, keep thumbs, index and middle together. Feel the sensation of the thumb pads and the finger pads connecting with their counterparts. Perhaps you can feel your pulse through the connection. Repeat breathing and visualising as above. With each in-breath the light in the centre of you glows more brightly. With each out-breath it radiates outwards.
5. And with the next in-breath, keep all your digits together, including your little fingers. Take your time to be still and breathe meditatively. Imagine that the light in the centre of you is dazzlingly bright, and that the light is streaming outwards in every direction. Picture that any areas of physical or mental pain are harmlessly being cleared away by the powerful radiating light, leaving your body, mind and spirit full of radiant good health and happiness.
6. Finally, conclude the exercise by placing your hands briefly in the ‘namaste’ position. As you do so, focus on a sense of the divine in yourself, and in all living beings.
Website Built with WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.
Suzanne Askham 