Wellbeing notes: Believe, dream, rinse, repeat
01/03/2024 at 6:23 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 CommentsTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, life skills, meditation, Mind body spirit, wellbeing
Recently I spent a couple of days by the sea. The apartment was a quiet, uncluttered space. There was little in the way of decoration – why compete with the marvellous view? However, the few decorative touches – cushions, pebbles, wall art – featured a bunch of positive slogans, often with a maritime feel.
At first I smiled and then basically ignored the uplifting messages. But in an eyrie with little else to distract the eye (when not actually looking at the view), these pieces of advice gradually sunk in, like a sort of mantra. Dream, invited a pebble by the front door. Believe in your dreams, urged a canvas above the kitchen sink. By the sea all worries wash away, whispered a driftwood panel above the harbour boats.
And actually, I decided, it was very sound advice. How often have you dreamed of something you would love to have in your life and then decided that it wouldn’t be possible, for one reason or another? But it’s okay to believe in a broadly positive future. There is always room for hope.
And then what about the idea that water can wash away your troubles? I have a friend who has struggled with mental health issues, who has found that outdoor swimming stops the spiral of destructive thoughts like nothing else. Although that’s not for everyone, even a simple, candlelit bath can shift the mood quite wonderfully. What dream do you have? What dream will you believe in today?
Wellbeing notes: Lighting a candle for loved ones
01/12/2023 at 1:13 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 1 CommentTags: Bereavement, Christmas reflections, Guidance, healing, inspiration, mindfulness, Spirituality
On Christmas Eve I love to step out into the fresh air to drop off last minute gifts and cards. Last December, as I went from one household to the next, I enjoyed glimpsing different interiors, some brightly lit with festive lights, others quieter, but each one a home.
One hall contained a special candle, lit for loved ones who had passed on. It was a touching reminder that we all suffer loss. These I remember: a white-haired neighbour in her cosy kitchen. My uncle who loved trains and working with wood. A friend who sent uplifting texts. And the gaps they’ve left behind will never quite be filled, because they were unique and wonderful beings.
That beautiful sister who sewed ballgowns by hand; the handsome boyfriend of a friend who seemed a keeper; the grandmother who took pleasure in sending hundreds of cards; the pet who went missing one too many times… these individuals were all loved and then they were mourned.
Since they left, new babies have been born. New friends have been made. New pets have been adopted. Life absolutely does go on. But remembering absent kith and kin is a golden part of the season. Because Christmas is above all about love. And, while we will always miss the ones who went before us, the love they left lives on.
Wellbeing notes: Embracing wabi-sabi
01/11/2023 at 2:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: healing, inspiration, life skills, meditation, mindfulness, time passing, wabi-sabi, wellbeing
November is not a famously pretty month. Though autumn leaves are stunning, they won’t be around for much longer. The nights are getting longer, and the land colder… and that, in a nutshell, is why November is a great month to enjoy the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi.
Wabi-sabi is a philosophic outlook that accepts the imperfection of beauty. Wabi-sabi recognises that nothing lasts, and yet nothing is ever truly completed. Leaves in late autumn are a perfect example of this. A growing season has finished… and yet the trees will burst into new life in the new year.
There’s a sweetly melancholy element to wabi-sabi, inviting us to experience the sadness of beauty as it fades away. To face up to this – to accept that real life does not come air-brushed – is a form of mindfulness, which can lead to a healthy acceptance of ourselves in this moment. The message of wabi-sabi is that it’s okay to age; and it’s okay to feel sadness for what has been and now is gone. When we accept the melancholy, we are also accepting that the scars we gain through life are a valuable part of who we are. In our imperfection lies a different, rarer kind of beauty.
So I invite you today to look at your world through the principles of wabi-sabi. What, or who, embodies the subtler kind of beauty that comes through imperfection? What, or who, deserves cherishing?
Wellbeing notes: Sparrowhawk meditation
01/10/2023 at 12:19 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: Guidance, inspiration, meditation, mindfulness, nature, wellbeing
To live surrounded by nature is a privilege, and one I don’t take for granted. It feels extra special when animals – deer and hares in particular, as well as countless birds – trust humans enough to come up close.
Recently, this particular bird came calling: a female sparrowhawk. She was striking in every sense: strong, watchful and beautiful. I’d never seen one in such detail before, and was curious to read about her.
The Eurasian sparrowhawk, also known as Accipiter nisus, is a modestly sized bird of prey. They live in woodland, and hunt smaller birds. Used in falconry, they’ve featured in poems, myths and stories from many cultures.
The sparrowhawk, small and fierce, is said to represent a warrior’s inner spirit, complete with a clear-sighted ability to see the whole picture. A simple meditation on these qualities can be uplifting and energising.
Sit somewhere quietly. Take relaxed, even breaths. Then close your eyes and focus with your thoughts on the sparrowhawk’s characteristics – whatever comes to mind. You might think of its striped feathers and far-seeing eyes, You might think of its beauty, boldness and strength.
As you continue to breathe in and out, be aware that those qualities are also within you. Feel a purposeful power filling the whole of your being. Enjoy that sense of strength; truly own it. And when you’re ready, open your eyes.
I hope you enjoy this nature meditation. The message of the sparrowhawk ultimately comes down to this: you are stronger and more able than you think.
Wellbeing notes: The therapy of small things
01/06/2023 at 9:57 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 CommentsTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, life skills, mindfulness, nature, wellbeing
I’d come home from a really stressful term of studies. I was questioning everything I’d ever learnt, anxious about the truth and direction of my life.
Home at that time was an Italian villa by a lake where water buffalo roamed, and mafiosi ruled. Home seemed so different from the English university I’d just left. And the contrast just made things worse.
But then something small happened. I was walking in the garden, between green lemon trees and a wall where purple bougainvillea grew. Beneath the wall, my mother and brother were positioning a section of flattened tree trunk. “It’s a bench,” my mum explained.
Curiously, when she said that, something within me settled. All those big questions, crowding my mind… they were abstract problems. You couldn’t touch them, like you could touch the lemon trees or the bougainvillea. And a bench in the garden where people could sit, and maybe heal from whatever was troubling them… you could touch that.
Right then, I began to appreciate the therapy of small things.
Fast forward to present times, to Wiltshire, in England. Last week, a young family friend came to stay, anxious and needing a break from uni. There was no handy tree trunk to turn into a bench. But I was looking after my neighbours’ hens. So, I invited her to help me feed them.
As the hens tucked into lettuce, she visibly relaxed. “I needed this,” she said.
And I hoped then that the therapy of small things had found another fan.
Wellbeing notes: Teachings from an ancient flower
31/03/2023 at 9:09 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 1 CommentTags: Guidance, inspiration, magnolias, mindfulness, nature, wellbeing, wisdom
There’s a magnolia tree that I know and love. With spring blooms of velvet pink, it brings pleasure to all who view it. But my magnolia is more than just a bunch of gorgeous flowers. Its cup-shaped blossoms tell an ancient story. And if I slow down enough to listen to that story, wellbeing results. Here are a few of magnolia’s insights.
‘Age is relative’
Magnolias have been growing for 20 million years. In comparison, humans are so young. It is believed that we have been on this planet for a mere 300,000 years. We are new-born babes compared with the magnolia tree. Maybe we should cut ourselves some slack. We are still learning, and that’s okay.
‘Think out of the box’
Magnolias evolved long before the arrival of bees. So, they attract a much older insect: flightless beetles, that chomp the sticky nectar. So, next time you’re grappling with a tricky problem, you might think of an alternative, ‘magnolia’ solution.
‘It’s fine to be a late bloomer’
Although my favourite magnolia tree flowers in spring, it likes to have a small, colourful flurry later in the year. And so it is with our own talents and interests. We are never too old to do something new.
‘Plan ahead’
By December, my magnolia will be covered in countless tight buds. The tree will protect them over winter, then enjoy a head start next spring. In the same spirit of looking ahead, what could you prepare today, in order to better use your energy tomorrow?
Wellbeing notes: Outdoor spring clean
01/03/2023 at 9:02 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: caring for the countryside, great outdoors, healthy habits, inspiration, mental wellbeing, spring clean, spring flowers
If you see a piece of litter on a country walk, do you pick it up sometimes, often, or never? In my case, if I’m honest, it depends on the litter. Some items can’t easily be picked up. Other times, I’m rushing past on my way to a Very Pressing Appointment, and I’d rather not turn up all mucky. But I hope that I do try to bag litter at least some of the time.
When you or I pick up discarded rubbish, we’re contributing to a beneficial practice which has been gaining real traction in the UK, and elsewhere.
This year the Great British Spring Clean runs from 17th March to 2nd April. Look out for individuals, pledging to fill a single bag; and volunteer groups, working together. For ideas on how to join in, see Keep Britain Tidy. In 2022’s Spring Clean, nearly half a million bags of refuse were apparently collected and properly disposed of. That’s a lot of tidying up – enough to make a visible difference.
Walking outdoors is brilliant for mental wellbeing as well as physical health. One of my favourite local walks takes me through woods, meadowland and over a tiny wild garlic stream, all dappled in sunlight. Over the coming weeks, additional flowers will grow along the route: fragrant bluebells like the ones pictured here; dainty lady’s smock; vibrant orchids; purple knapweed and tall, waving daisies. What I’d rather not see among them is an empty can or plastic wrapper, so if there’s anything along those lines, here is my pledge that I’ll be picking it up.
Wellbeing notes: rhyming affirmations
04/01/2023 at 11:56 am | Posted in Wellbeing | 4 CommentsTags: affirmations, comforting thoughts, creative visualisation, creative writing, inspiration, positive affirmations, positivity, wellbeing
Perhaps every thought we have – especially the ones we think often, or fervently – has the potential to come true. Hence the expression, ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’. I do believe that humans are hugely creative beings, in ways we scarcely understand. If every thought is a possible manifestation, it makes sense to choose at least some of our thoughts wisely. And the very best way I know of doing that is through rhyming affirmations.
Verses that rhyme have a habit of staying in our minds longer. We may find ourselves remembering them without even trying. They become a mantra that uplifts, in a way that’s reminiscent of comforting childhood rhymes.
I regularly write my own, personal rhyming affirmations, recording them with pen and ink in a journal. They’re not high art – just verses that stick in the mind. Verses that I repeat slowly, and mindfully. Verses that leave me feeling calmer, and happier. If you are at all inclined, I encourage you, today or tomorrow, to come up with a rhyming affirmation for yourself. It can be as simple as two lines that rhyme. Put pen to paper, or finger to phone, and play a little. And remember, no one is judging your creation!
The following rhyming affirmation is one I wrote last year. It’s a bit longer – four verses in total. Yet I have found this one particularly easy to remember, and repeating it slowly never fails to ramp up the levels of joy in my day. It reminds me that anything is possible, and that life – not just in some mythical future, but right now – is filled with a wonderful magic.
I believe
I believe in deeds of kindness
and presents wrapped in love
I believe that people can connect
with intervention from above
~~~
I believe in our creations
and doses of good luck
I believe that fortune flourishes
and blocks can get unstuck
~~~
I believe in my good health
and my body being able
I believe in friends who help,
who can inspire and enable
~~~
I believe in gifts from God
and moments of laughter
I believe, above all, in love
and happy ever after
Introducing Fiction Notes
03/01/2023 at 3:16 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 6 CommentsTags: art of the novel, fiction, inspiration, Jane Austen fan club, love, musings on writers, romantic fiction, true love
My day job is writing romance novels. And from now on – fanfare, roll of drums – that’s going to be represented in my blog. This is my plan for 2023, and I hope you’ll stay for the ride…
At the start of every month I will continue to post Wellbeing Notes. From the many years that I ran meditation groups, I know that wellbeing truly matters. It’s important to honour this truth. Those little reminders to care for yourself and appreciate life’s beauties will continue to drop into subscribers’ inboxes.
In the middle of every month, I will post Fiction Notes. Get ready for some thought-provoking themes. There is so much more to romance than fluff and laughter, nice though those things may be. Consider Jane Austen, and her two masterpieces, Persuasion and Pride and Prejudice. Each of these is a quintessential, romantic read, in which woman meets man. Major obstacles get in the way. And eventually, true love triumphs. Why are those novels so popular, 200 years on, and counting?
Hopefully we’ll find some answers together in the coming months. Fiction Notes are for readers and writers of fiction, especially in the category of romance. Maybe we do live in tough times right now. But through every era, humans – with all our hopes and yearnings and messy emotions – stay essentially the same. So join me next month, and for many months to come, while we explore the most compelling subject of all: true love.
Meditate on the landscape of your life
09/09/2022 at 3:00 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: Iceland, inspiration, meditation, nature meditations, volcanoes, wellbeing
Every week for the past five months, my meditation group has been focusing on aspects of landscape. From river to forest, by coast, bridge and swamp, from harbour to canyon via a rainbow-coloured waterfall, we’ve had a lovely time imagining ourselves in nature, slowing down our breath, becoming peaceful. And the landscape theme is set to continue for a few weeks yet, as the list of potential subjects just continues to grow.
Take this week. Someone suggested volcano. One thing I’ve noticed is that everyone views each aspect of landscape differently. For me, I will likely be thinking of a snowy volcano that I once visited in Iceland. Snaefellsjökull has an incredible, other-worldly atmosphere. But another member of my group, fresh from Italy’s Amalfi Coast, may think about a fiery Vesuvius.
The way you think of a volcano can reflect your own life journey. I believe that, sooner or later, we all go through stuff. Some of the events we experience can be positively volcanic – changing our personal landscape. If those events are in the past, the volcano we imagine may be slumbering or extinct. If those events are current, the volcano of our imagination may be quite active. An active volcano will destroy like nothing else… but this may lead, in time, to new landscapes full of life and even beauty.
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Suzanne Askham 