Your Unique Pathway: Reflecting on 2025 with Stepping Stones

01/12/2025 at 11:17 am | Posted in Inspiration, Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , ,

To do’ lists can go on a bit. All those tasks we’re supposed to fit into our day can sometimes feel quite onerous. In their place, a creative friend of mine draws irregular circles across the page, to represent stepping stones. Each wobbly shape contains an achievable task; together, they form a pathway. 

Since we are now in December, this is my invitation to you to reflect on the year that has been, by drawing your own retrospective stepping stone pathway through 2025 – no artist skills required. What were the major life events that happened over the past 12 months? Happy, sad, or somewhere in between, these events probably helped to shape your entire year. Now, can you name a few smaller achievements – personal or family triumphs? Maybe there were some projects that turned out to be quite tricky to navigate. Let each memorable event have its own stepping stone, until you’ve drawn a pathway across the whole of 2025.

Once you’ve drawn your pathway, you might like to colour it in. Let your stepping stones be full of bright hues. 

Seeing your progress through the past year can be a useful tool for reflection. What lessons, skills and gifts do you now have as a result of your journey? How have you changed, or developed, as a person? Remember, above all, that your pathway through 2025 has been as unique, and wonderful, as you are.

Journey of Geese: Embracing Change and Adventure

01/11/2025 at 12:42 pm | Posted in Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , ,

The path along Cocklemore Brook gets a bit muddy at times. Pretty, but muddy. The other day I was tiptoeing over damp autumn leaves when a noise overhead caused me to look up. Geese, honking in formation – flapping heavy wings in a tired ‘V’ shape they likely maintained all the way from Iceland, Greenland or beyond.

There’s something rather soulful about the noise of flying geese. How do they manage to sound both mournful, and adventurous? Perhaps I’m dwelling on this right now because my daughter has recently gone to the other side of the world, and she won’t be back until the geese have returned to their homelands, hatched their young, and started gathering for their next winter in the British Isles. 

There is a wrench somewhere around the heart when a loved one is absent. Yet it’s not all sad, because I’m happy for my daughter to stretch her own wings: to enjoy a new adventure and become more independent. 

The urge to travel is no doubt deep within humans, as much as it’s within those tired geese overhead. If we can’t, or choose  not to, cover physical distance, we can always use our imaginations. Perhaps that’s why the honking of geese as they fly is so evocative: it’s the sound of faraway places, heard within the comfort of our own neighbourhood. 

Wellbeing notes: The world from our neighbours’ windows

01/06/2025 at 10:36 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , ,

There’s an old stone house on a hill that I can see from my back window. Today, that distant building is bathing in sunlight. It looks rather idyllic over there, surrounded as it is by rolling pastures.

I’ve always supposed that the residents of that old stone house must look over to us, perched on our own hillside, in much the same way that we view them. But recently I discovered this wasn’t the case at all. We took a detour from a local pub, and came across the old stone house. For the first time I was able to look across from it, towards our street. However there were too many trees surrounding the homes there to glimpse a single brick or stone.  

What people see depends very much on their perspective, of course. But it’s so easy to forget that fact, until you metaphorically step into another’s shoes. Even people who live next door to each other can perceive life very differently. 

Somewhere, deep in our tribal minds, we might on occasion decide that people who don’t see things exactly as we do, are not ‘our’ people. We may even blame them unfairly for a host of ills. But the truth is, people are people wherever you go. We all share the same human hopes and fears. Therefore, being understanding of another’s perspective, however near or far away they may be, has to be one of the most valuable life skills of all. 

Wellbeing notes: Why get-togethers are so good for us

02/05/2025 at 12:35 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , ,

I was meeting three old friends in a local, independent coffee shop. It was one of those mellow afternoons that seem drenched in sunshine and fun. Over cups of tea and latte, we were putting the world to rights. One of us, I forget who, said, “Look at us, four heads bobbing round a table.” And we shared one of those belly-filling laughs that leave you feeling simply good about life. 

It had taken us ages to find a day that suited everyone. For the longest time we settled for group chats online. And those did help… but that coffee shop get-together was better. There were moments, between the fun, when one or another of us shared a difficult situation. We unburdened, and that felt good. We listened, and that felt life-affirming. 

After our get-together I started appreciating other social moments in life that maybe I had taken for granted. These were mainly simple things, like a chat with a colleague or a customer. But what I noticed was that these ephemeral exchanges could pack in a huge range of emotions, from a recent dire experience that could fairly be described as ‘pants’, to the sharing of a moment of sheer happiness. They were mini doses of everyday therapy. 

It’s common sense that regular doses of talking and listening would be good for us. But what happens if we’ve become a bit isolated? I like the advice of Age UK, which can apply to any time of life: ‘If you have lost connections, take small steps to start rebuilding.’ So if by any chance you’ve been wondering, please take this as your invitation to join that club or social group, to follow your interests and enjoy the chats that will undoubtedly follow. 

Wellbeing notes: Being peaceful in a hectic world

01/04/2024 at 1:05 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 4 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

A good friend once lived in a serene flat on a lively street. Cars sped past. Lorries lumbered. But in my friend’s lounge there was a picture of a temple garden that seemed to invite the viewer to breathe, and relax. 

I’ve always loved the contrast between busyness and peace. Perhaps it dates back to an old tollbar cottage that my grandparents used to live in. We children slept under sloping eaves. Outside, cars zoomed. Inside, all was still. Yes, the traffic held dangers. But in the cottage, we always felt safe.

Now, this can require a certain amount of work, a shift of mindset. But sometimes, when you are surrounded by bustle, that’s when you can feel especially peaceful. 

There is an old story that illustrates this. Weighed down by state business, an emperor was hungry for tranquillity. Three of the best artists in the land were summoned to produce a painting that would help him to feel calm. 

The first artist painted a still lake. The second created an untrodden, snowy landscape. “Very nice,” said the emperor. And then he turned to the final painting, which didn’t seem tranquil at all: a forest waterfall crashing down from a great height. “This is the one,” exclaimed the emperor to his puzzled courtiers. And he pointed to a nest, where a bird slept soundly. “That,” said the emperor, “is true tranquillity.”

However hectic the world may be, I wish you the peace of true tranquillity.

Wellbeing notes: Believe, dream, rinse, repeat

01/03/2024 at 6:23 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 Comments
Tags: , , , , , ,

Recently I spent a couple of days by the sea. The apartment was a quiet, uncluttered space. There was little in the way of decoration – why compete with the marvellous view? However, the few decorative touches – cushions, pebbles, wall art – featured a bunch of positive slogans, often with a maritime feel. 

At first I smiled and then basically ignored the uplifting messages. But in an eyrie with little else to distract the eye (when not actually looking at the view), these pieces of advice gradually sunk in, like a sort of mantra. Dream, invited a pebble by the front door. Believe in your dreams, urged a canvas above the kitchen sink. By the sea all worries wash away, whispered a driftwood panel above the harbour boats.  

And actually, I decided, it was very sound advice. How often have you dreamed of something you would love to have in your life and then decided that it wouldn’t be possible, for one reason or another? But it’s okay to believe in a broadly positive future. There is always room for hope. 

And then what about the idea that water can wash away your troubles? I have a friend who has struggled with mental health issues, who has found that outdoor swimming stops the spiral of destructive thoughts like nothing else. Although that’s not for everyone, even a simple, candlelit bath can shift the mood quite wonderfully. What dream do you have? What dream will you believe in today?

Wellbeing notes: Embracing wabi-sabi

01/11/2023 at 2:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , , ,

November is not a famously pretty month. Though autumn leaves are stunning, they won’t be around for much longer. The nights are getting longer, and the land colder… and that, in a nutshell, is why November is a great month to enjoy the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi.

Wabi-sabi is a philosophic outlook that accepts the imperfection of beauty. Wabi-sabi recognises that nothing lasts, and yet nothing is ever truly completed. Leaves in late autumn are a perfect example of this. A growing season has finished… and yet the trees will burst into new life in the new year.

There’s a sweetly melancholy element to wabi-sabi, inviting us to experience the sadness of beauty as it fades away. To face up to this – to accept that real life does not come air-brushed – is a form of mindfulness, which can lead to a healthy acceptance of ourselves in this moment. The message of wabi-sabi is that it’s okay to age; and it’s okay to feel sadness for what has been and now is gone. When we accept the melancholy, we are also accepting that the scars we gain through life are a valuable part of who we are. In our imperfection lies a different, rarer kind of beauty.

So I invite you today to look at your world through the principles of wabi-sabi. What, or who, embodies the subtler kind of beauty that comes through imperfection? What, or who, deserves cherishing?

Wellbeing notes: The therapy of small things

01/06/2023 at 9:57 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 Comments
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’d come home from a really stressful term of studies. I was questioning everything I’d ever learnt, anxious about the truth and direction of my life. 

Home at that time was an Italian villa by a lake where water buffalo roamed, and mafiosi ruled. Home seemed so different from the English university I’d just left. And the contrast just made things worse.

But then something small happened. I was walking in the garden, between green lemon trees and a wall where purple bougainvillea grew. Beneath the wall, my mother and brother were positioning a section of flattened tree trunk. “It’s a bench,” my mum explained. 

Curiously, when she said that, something within me settled. All those big questions, crowding my mind… they were abstract problems. You couldn’t touch them, like you could touch the lemon trees or the bougainvillea. And a bench in the garden where people could sit, and maybe heal from whatever was troubling them… you could touch that. 

Right then, I began to appreciate the therapy of small things.

Fast forward to present times, to Wiltshire, in England. Last week, a young family friend came to stay, anxious and needing a break from uni. There was no handy tree trunk to turn into a bench. But I was looking after my neighbours’ hens. So, I invited her to help me feed them. 

As the hens tucked into lettuce, she visibly relaxed.  “I needed this,” she said.

And I hoped then that the therapy of small things had found another fan. 

Wellbeing notes: Farewell, lovely meditations

01/12/2022 at 8:19 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
Tags: , , , , , ,

For the past 14 years I’ve hosted weekly meditation groups. They’ve brought me masses of pleasure, as I hope they have for countless attendees. But we’re not built to do the same thing all our lives, and this month the doors will close for the last time on our peaceful meetings. To mark the moment, I thought I’d include some memories here, with thanks to all the fabulous souls who participated…

Meditation is not always quiet. The biggest secret about our sessions were that they were a 50/50 mix of chat and silence. The chat always had a theme – and sometimes that theme required a little noise. So let’s hear it for Trevor on the accordion and Kerstie on the Native American flute, not to mention the noisy swarm of bees that once perched on the wild cherry tree outside. 

Meditators came from far and wide. We shared quiet times with guests from all over the world. Our youngest meditator was a very new baby. Our furriest attendee was a cat. Our most surprised visitor was the courier who tried to deliver to a room full of people sitting with their eyes closed – at least we weren’t chanting!

Those who meditate are creative – maybe the practice of stilling the mind helps ideas to flow. We have shared paintings, pottery, screen-printing, poetry, glasswork, and many other beautiful creations.

Meditation doesn’t have to take place in one room. During the pandemic, we went online. Other years we enjoyed the local countryside, including sacred Avebury, and neighbouring Somerset. The truth, as we discovered, is that peace, calm and kindness can flourish wherever we choose. And along the way, enduring friendships are made.

Wellbeing notes: Power of perseverance

01/10/2022 at 2:47 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Tags: , , ,

My latest book – first novel – is written and it’s time to see which literary agents and/or publishers might be interested. Fellow writers confirms that this can be A Hard Slog, involving many letters and accompanying documents. In a way, the process is like applying for a job, which can seem like a thankless task at times. So, for all those who are trying to make something happen, here is my personal checklist that may help you to persevere. 

  1. Keep on keeping on. Be persistent. Set an achievable weekly goal and do your very best to keep to it. I’ve resolved to have seven queries out at any one time. And with each one I try my best to understand the recipient.
  2. Tread lightly. If the task is feeling burdensome, step away for a while. Do something completely different. Reconnect with your joy. Imagine how wonderful you will feel when you achieve what you have set out to do.
  3. Review from time to time. Does your goal still resonate for you? Are you still happy that you’re on the right path, or do you wish to adjust your goal to something that feels more ‘you’?
  4. Believe in yourself and trust in a positive outcome. Remember that you have a wonderful and unique blend of qualities. No one does ‘you’ better than you. 

And when you finally reach your goal… celebrate and share the news!

Next Page »

Website Built with WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.