Your Unique Pathway: Reflecting on 2025 with Stepping Stones
01/12/2025 at 11:17 am | Posted in Inspiration, Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: Guidance, inspiration, life skills, mindfulness, self-reflection, the year gone by, wellbeing
To do’ lists can go on a bit. All those tasks we’re supposed to fit into our day can sometimes feel quite onerous. In their place, a creative friend of mine draws irregular circles across the page, to represent stepping stones. Each wobbly shape contains an achievable task; together, they form a pathway.
Since we are now in December, this is my invitation to you to reflect on the year that has been, by drawing your own retrospective stepping stone pathway through 2025 – no artist skills required. What were the major life events that happened over the past 12 months? Happy, sad, or somewhere in between, these events probably helped to shape your entire year. Now, can you name a few smaller achievements – personal or family triumphs? Maybe there were some projects that turned out to be quite tricky to navigate. Let each memorable event have its own stepping stone, until you’ve drawn a pathway across the whole of 2025.
Once you’ve drawn your pathway, you might like to colour it in. Let your stepping stones be full of bright hues.
Seeing your progress through the past year can be a useful tool for reflection. What lessons, skills and gifts do you now have as a result of your journey? How have you changed, or developed, as a person? Remember, above all, that your pathway through 2025 has been as unique, and wonderful, as you are.
Wellbeing notes: Leave peace and kindness in your wake
01/10/2025 at 12:42 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: harvest, inspiration, kindness, legacy, mindfulness, visitors, wellbeing
My home is not actually listed as a guest house, but sometimes it feels that way. Of the many people who have stayed here, my favourites arrived last weekend. And when they left, their room was impeccable: bed stripped, room tidied, a small gift for us left on the table. More than that: there was an air of peace and kindness within the room which made it a joy to enter.
Such people are inspiring. They remind us that leaving a room or situation in kind and thoughtful ways can be the best choice, for ourselves as well as others. No doubt there are many ways to leave peace behind you, but the following three principles can surely help:
* Consider those who will follow you. Instead of giving them messes to clean up, tidy away all your stuff and leave a calm and neutral space that will be a pleasure for the next person to enter.
* Accept that transitions are best not rushed. Give yourself time to clear up the old and make way for the new.
* If you are so inclined, send love and blessings to all who will follow in your footsteps. After my guests had left I went to gather some apples, windfalls, from the garden, which got me wondering. Maybe everything we humans leave behind us, including peace and kindness, can be viewed as a harvest of sorts?
Wellbeing notes: Let your inner child play this September
01/09/2025 at 11:16 am | Posted in Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | 2 CommentsTags: Chippenham, hooping, inner child, libraries, play, reminiscence groups, wellbeing
Yes, we’ve long moved on from the days when librarians told you to ‘hush’ in the library. But for older people like me, the conditioning runs pretty deep. Which was why what happened last week felt so very liberating.
The Thursday Club, which meets in Chippenham Library, was set to discuss ‘Favourite forms of exercise, then and now’. Well, in the middle of the session, in a nice space between biographies and cook books, we all got up and took turns hula hooping. Even the librarians had a go. There was so much laughter. And afterwards, one of the group members took us through some simple line dancing moves, which hadn’t been planned but certainly added to the fun.
Hula hoops, like the one shown here, carry the magical ability to make the person using them smile or even laugh, and it seems that line dancing has a similar effect. Maybe the laughter, the sheer feeling of wellbeing, isn’t in fact down to the hoop, or the dance steps. Maybe it’s simply because we’re having fun, we’re playing, in the company of friends old and new. It’s in those moments that our inner child emerges – because whatever age you might be chronologically, in the very heart of you lives your child-self, the being who loves to play, explore and generally have fun.
This September, how might you let your own inner child out to play?
Wellbeing notes: This too shall pass
01/07/2025 at 9:35 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: ancient wisdom, inspiration, meditation, mindfulness, stone circles, wellbeing, wisdom of the stones
A London friend, Vivien, was strolling around Avebury with me. She adored the ancient, mysterious stone circle. I love it too. But on this particular day I had a busy schedule. In the north-west quadrant, it all became too much. “There’s so little time,” I fretted.
Vivien laughed. “Look around. There’s literally no one here but us. You’ll get to your appointment, but worrying won’t help, I promise you.”
I looked around properly then, at the stones that measure time in unfathomable ways. And I realised that my worries were as fleeting as a breeze compared with Avebury.
Understanding that our woes are transient is a well-established principle in meditation, both in stillness and in action. An example: I like to exercise on a rowing machine, finding that its rhythm can become quite meditative. As imaginary oars slide through the water, and an imaginary boat scoots forward, the distance covered is displayed on the screen before me. At times the metres look like years rushing by. The 1970s turn into the 1980s and so on, through the millenia until we reach the year 5,000, aka 5km, when I generally stop.
What will the world look like in the years 3025 and 4025? What will our descendants be like? Perhaps they will view us, with our paperback books, rather as we view the faraway papyrus generations. One thing doesn’t really change: our ability to feel all the emotions. Hence that comforting expression in hard times: ‘This too shall pass’.
Wellbeing notes: Why get-togethers are so good for us
02/05/2025 at 12:35 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: coffee shop life, conversation, friendship, life skills, mental wellbeing, social skills, wellbeing
I was meeting three old friends in a local, independent coffee shop. It was one of those mellow afternoons that seem drenched in sunshine and fun. Over cups of tea and latte, we were putting the world to rights. One of us, I forget who, said, “Look at us, four heads bobbing round a table.” And we shared one of those belly-filling laughs that leave you feeling simply good about life.
It had taken us ages to find a day that suited everyone. For the longest time we settled for group chats online. And those did help… but that coffee shop get-together was better. There were moments, between the fun, when one or another of us shared a difficult situation. We unburdened, and that felt good. We listened, and that felt life-affirming.
After our get-together I started appreciating other social moments in life that maybe I had taken for granted. These were mainly simple things, like a chat with a colleague or a customer. But what I noticed was that these ephemeral exchanges could pack in a huge range of emotions, from a recent dire experience that could fairly be described as ‘pants’, to the sharing of a moment of sheer happiness. They were mini doses of everyday therapy.
It’s common sense that regular doses of talking and listening would be good for us. But what happens if we’ve become a bit isolated? I like the advice of Age UK, which can apply to any time of life: ‘If you have lost connections, take small steps to start rebuilding.’ So if by any chance you’ve been wondering, please take this as your invitation to join that club or social group, to follow your interests and enjoy the chats that will undoubtedly follow.
Wellbeing notes: Quietly appreciating what we’re good at
02/04/2025 at 6:06 pm | Posted in Nature, Wellbeing, Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: bluebells, kindness, Mind body spirit, nature, nature's lessons, selfcare, wellbeing
Last spring a visitor fell totally in love with our local bluebell woods. Through her, I realised how privileged we are that these fragrant flower drifts are such a familiar part of our neighbourhood.
According to Kew Gardens, over half the world’s population of bluebells, or Hyacinthoides non-scripta, grow in the UK. They’re native to Britain and other parts of Western Europe. But Britain is their citadel, and we protect them through legislation. Bluebells are often found in woodland that is over 400 years old, so a bluebell-rich landscape is a healthy landscape that encourages all sorts of native wildlife. Some of my favourite spring moments include seeing roe deer meandering along flowery banks in dappled sunlight. Our bluebell citadel is definitely something to appreciate.
Now, as it happens, the visitor who enjoyed our local woodland is not so great at appreciating her own, personal attributes. She is a kindly person, who is quick to help others. However, she doesn’t value these things about herself. Compliments embarrass her. And yet in her own way she is a citadel for a practical form of kindness.
I wonder how many of us are not very good at appreciating the special things about ourselves. Each one of us can be said to be a citadel for a unique blend of skills, talents and other qualities that enhance the lives of others around us. So my question to you is: what will you appreciate about yourself today?
Wellbeing notes: Season of hope
01/02/2025 at 9:56 am | Posted in Uncategorized, Wellbeing, Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: daisies, Guidance, healing, inspiration, Mind body spirit, mindfulness, natural cosmetics, nature, wellbeing
These weeks, right now, when winter is sliding muddily into early spring… there’s no time quite like it. It’s not the most beautiful of seasons. And yet, with its sprinkling of snowdrops and ever lighter skies, there lies, embedded in our local landscape, the hope of warmer days.
As the heroine of Anne of Green Gables says, “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.” And since we are only in February, there are plenty of tomorrows left in the year.
A pessimistic friend of mine is skilled at pointing out the many problems in the world. But perhaps when things look most dire, that’s when we have the greatest need for hope. Or, to put it another way, in places of darkness, the light of hope may appear to shine more brightly and become most meaningful to others. To nurture hope is a valuable survival skill. Hope brings no guarantee of success, or peace, or happiness – but it does say that these things are possible.
I love the words of the author Barbara Kingsolver, in her novel, Animal Dreams. ‘The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.’
May we all be safe, and well, and happy in our houses of hope this year.
Note: the daisy pictured was photographed at The Burren Perfumery. This family business makes perfumes and skincare products inspired by its stunning surroundings on the wild, west coast of Ireland.
Wellbeing notes: Wishing you a mindful festive season
01/12/2024 at 10:44 am | Posted in Happiness, Inspiration, Wellbeing, Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: happiness, Health and wellness, Healthy lifestyle, inspiration, Mental health tips, Mentalwellbeing, Mindful Christmas, Mindfulholidays, mindfulness, moments of calm, selfcare, wellbeing
Two women were talking in the library. “I have to confess,” said one, “that Christmas is not my favourite time of year.” “Same!” said the other. “It’s just too busy, isn’t it? I’ll be worn out by the 25th.”
Since I happen to be one of the many who try a bit too hard to get everything ‘right’ in the run-up to Christmas, this year I’m choosing to be less stressed and more mindful, with the following gentle strategies.
Use your senses
Warming aromas of orange and cinnamon. The crackle of paper as you wrap your gifts. Experiencing the world through your senses is the best way to inhabit each moment of your life. Everything you do in this state of sensory awareness is enhanced. A gift prepared mindfully can bring the recipient a sense of calm which can be at least as important as any monetary value.
Practise gratitude
Savour the segments of a tangerine and truly take in nature’s abundance. Look around you at the next social gathering, whatever it may be, and enjoy the miracle of other beings. Each person is special when viewed through non-judgemental eyes. When you receive a present, appreciate above all the love behind it.
Choose simplicity
In a nutshell, give yourself ample time to do a little less. An uncomplicated meal of natural ingredients can taste nicer than complex dishes. And a few branches brought in and decorated simply can bring you and your loved ones that elusive thing: a childlike pleasure in Christmas.
Wellbeing notes: Being peaceful in a hectic world
01/04/2024 at 1:05 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 4 CommentsTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, life skills, meditation, mindfulness, nature, Splendid Fairywren, wellbeing
A good friend once lived in a serene flat on a lively street. Cars sped past. Lorries lumbered. But in my friend’s lounge there was a picture of a temple garden that seemed to invite the viewer to breathe, and relax.
I’ve always loved the contrast between busyness and peace. Perhaps it dates back to an old tollbar cottage that my grandparents used to live in. We children slept under sloping eaves. Outside, cars zoomed. Inside, all was still. Yes, the traffic held dangers. But in the cottage, we always felt safe.
Now, this can require a certain amount of work, a shift of mindset. But sometimes, when you are surrounded by bustle, that’s when you can feel especially peaceful.
There is an old story that illustrates this. Weighed down by state business, an emperor was hungry for tranquillity. Three of the best artists in the land were summoned to produce a painting that would help him to feel calm.
The first artist painted a still lake. The second created an untrodden, snowy landscape. “Very nice,” said the emperor. And then he turned to the final painting, which didn’t seem tranquil at all: a forest waterfall crashing down from a great height. “This is the one,” exclaimed the emperor to his puzzled courtiers. And he pointed to a nest, where a bird slept soundly. “That,” said the emperor, “is true tranquillity.”
However hectic the world may be, I wish you the peace of true tranquillity.
Wellbeing notes: Believe, dream, rinse, repeat
01/03/2024 at 6:23 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 CommentsTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, life skills, meditation, Mind body spirit, wellbeing
Recently I spent a couple of days by the sea. The apartment was a quiet, uncluttered space. There was little in the way of decoration – why compete with the marvellous view? However, the few decorative touches – cushions, pebbles, wall art – featured a bunch of positive slogans, often with a maritime feel.
At first I smiled and then basically ignored the uplifting messages. But in an eyrie with little else to distract the eye (when not actually looking at the view), these pieces of advice gradually sunk in, like a sort of mantra. Dream, invited a pebble by the front door. Believe in your dreams, urged a canvas above the kitchen sink. By the sea all worries wash away, whispered a driftwood panel above the harbour boats.
And actually, I decided, it was very sound advice. How often have you dreamed of something you would love to have in your life and then decided that it wouldn’t be possible, for one reason or another? But it’s okay to believe in a broadly positive future. There is always room for hope.
And then what about the idea that water can wash away your troubles? I have a friend who has struggled with mental health issues, who has found that outdoor swimming stops the spiral of destructive thoughts like nothing else. Although that’s not for everyone, even a simple, candlelit bath can shift the mood quite wonderfully. What dream do you have? What dream will you believe in today?
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Suzanne Askham 