Your Unique Pathway: Reflecting on 2025 with Stepping Stones

01/12/2025 at 11:17 am | Posted in Inspiration, Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
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To do’ lists can go on a bit. All those tasks we’re supposed to fit into our day can sometimes feel quite onerous. In their place, a creative friend of mine draws irregular circles across the page, to represent stepping stones. Each wobbly shape contains an achievable task; together, they form a pathway. 

Since we are now in December, this is my invitation to you to reflect on the year that has been, by drawing your own retrospective stepping stone pathway through 2025 – no artist skills required. What were the major life events that happened over the past 12 months? Happy, sad, or somewhere in between, these events probably helped to shape your entire year. Now, can you name a few smaller achievements – personal or family triumphs? Maybe there were some projects that turned out to be quite tricky to navigate. Let each memorable event have its own stepping stone, until you’ve drawn a pathway across the whole of 2025.

Once you’ve drawn your pathway, you might like to colour it in. Let your stepping stones be full of bright hues. 

Seeing your progress through the past year can be a useful tool for reflection. What lessons, skills and gifts do you now have as a result of your journey? How have you changed, or developed, as a person? Remember, above all, that your pathway through 2025 has been as unique, and wonderful, as you are.

Journey of Geese: Embracing Change and Adventure

01/11/2025 at 12:42 pm | Posted in Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
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The path along Cocklemore Brook gets a bit muddy at times. Pretty, but muddy. The other day I was tiptoeing over damp autumn leaves when a noise overhead caused me to look up. Geese, honking in formation – flapping heavy wings in a tired ‘V’ shape they likely maintained all the way from Iceland, Greenland or beyond.

There’s something rather soulful about the noise of flying geese. How do they manage to sound both mournful, and adventurous? Perhaps I’m dwelling on this right now because my daughter has recently gone to the other side of the world, and she won’t be back until the geese have returned to their homelands, hatched their young, and started gathering for their next winter in the British Isles. 

There is a wrench somewhere around the heart when a loved one is absent. Yet it’s not all sad, because I’m happy for my daughter to stretch her own wings: to enjoy a new adventure and become more independent. 

The urge to travel is no doubt deep within humans, as much as it’s within those tired geese overhead. If we can’t, or choose  not to, cover physical distance, we can always use our imaginations. Perhaps that’s why the honking of geese as they fly is so evocative: it’s the sound of faraway places, heard within the comfort of our own neighbourhood. 

Wellbeing notes: Season of hope

01/02/2025 at 9:56 am | Posted in Uncategorized, Wellbeing, Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
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These weeks, right now, when winter is sliding muddily into early spring… there’s no time quite like it. It’s not the most beautiful of seasons. And yet, with its sprinkling of snowdrops and ever lighter skies, there lies, embedded in our local landscape, the hope of warmer days. 

As the heroine of Anne of Green Gables says, “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet.” And since we are only in February, there are plenty of tomorrows left in the year.

A pessimistic friend of mine is skilled at pointing out the many problems in the world. But perhaps when things look most dire, that’s when we have the greatest need for hope. Or, to put it another way, in places of darkness, the light of hope may appear to shine more brightly and become most meaningful to others. To nurture hope is a valuable survival skill. Hope brings no guarantee of success, or peace, or happiness – but it does say that these things are possible. 

I love the words of the author Barbara Kingsolver, in her novel, Animal Dreams. ‘The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.’

May we all be safe, and well, and happy in our houses of hope this year. 

Note: the daisy pictured was photographed at The Burren Perfumery. This family business makes perfumes and skincare products inspired by its stunning surroundings on the wild, west coast of Ireland.

Wellbeing notes: Reflections on kindness

01/11/2024 at 9:59 am | Posted in Wellbeing | Leave a comment
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A mother was sitting in Abbey Square, in Bath UK, with her disabled son beside her. A stranger approached them both, smiled at the teenager in his wheelchair, then offered his mother a bunch of colourful, fragrant flowers. “For you,” said the stranger, “Because of all that you do for your son.” And then she walked away.

The mother was me. The incident happened many years ago, but I still remember it and probably always will. Kindness is like that, isn’t it? Heartwarming, unconditional, and memorable. 

World Kindness Day falls on Wednesday 13 November. The date is an invitation to create thoughtful acts in our community and further afield, and to celebrate kindness in everyday life. If you would like to learn more about this annual event, you can go to Kindness UK for ideas and perhaps to pledge action.

Practising compassion towards others and ourselves has been described as an innate aspect of human nature, that flourishes with encouragement. In 2020 the Mental Health Foundation together with YouGov conducted an online survey with over 4,000 adults. The survey found that both being kind and receiving kindness are widely linked with improved mental health. 

Many people find that being considerate and caring can make us happy. Think of a genuine compliment you gave, that made someone’s face light up. A gift you offered without expectation of anything in return. A donation to a cause that will directly help disadvantaged people. Even if we can’t solve all the world’s problems, we can always create moments of kindness.

Wellbeing notes: A wellspring within you

01/07/2024 at 5:49 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
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Many years ago, in my 20s, I experienced one of those dreams that you never really forget. In this dream, I met an older version of myself. A fountain sparkled in her garden. She reassured me that my life might get bumpy at times, but it was ultimately going to be okay. 

Roll forward to the present day and who knows how it happened, but I’m now as old as that dream character. Even my home, and its setting, are like hers. But there is one difference. My garden contains no fountain.  

And yet I wonder if something does sparkle here: a sort of spiritual fountain or wellspring, that can be accessed in moments of quietness. This place, after all, has hosted countless meditators as well as those looking for sanctuary. The healing that has taken place here can seem quite tangible at times.

Recently I was sitting in the garden, listening to birdsong – a form of meditation in itself. I became refreshed. And I understood then that we each have a wellspring within us, that sparkles during moments of peace. Just like the water feature of my long-ago dream, this spiritual fountain is full of light. 

I invite you, now, to sit silently, focusing on the rhythm of your breath. If any worries crop up, let them pass through your mind without engaging, just for now. Feel your body and mind relax. In the quietness of this moment, right here, is your own inner wellspring.

Wellbeing notes: Being peaceful in a hectic world

01/04/2024 at 1:05 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 4 Comments
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A good friend once lived in a serene flat on a lively street. Cars sped past. Lorries lumbered. But in my friend’s lounge there was a picture of a temple garden that seemed to invite the viewer to breathe, and relax. 

I’ve always loved the contrast between busyness and peace. Perhaps it dates back to an old tollbar cottage that my grandparents used to live in. We children slept under sloping eaves. Outside, cars zoomed. Inside, all was still. Yes, the traffic held dangers. But in the cottage, we always felt safe.

Now, this can require a certain amount of work, a shift of mindset. But sometimes, when you are surrounded by bustle, that’s when you can feel especially peaceful. 

There is an old story that illustrates this. Weighed down by state business, an emperor was hungry for tranquillity. Three of the best artists in the land were summoned to produce a painting that would help him to feel calm. 

The first artist painted a still lake. The second created an untrodden, snowy landscape. “Very nice,” said the emperor. And then he turned to the final painting, which didn’t seem tranquil at all: a forest waterfall crashing down from a great height. “This is the one,” exclaimed the emperor to his puzzled courtiers. And he pointed to a nest, where a bird slept soundly. “That,” said the emperor, “is true tranquillity.”

However hectic the world may be, I wish you the peace of true tranquillity.

Wellbeing notes: Believe, dream, rinse, repeat

01/03/2024 at 6:23 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 Comments
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Recently I spent a couple of days by the sea. The apartment was a quiet, uncluttered space. There was little in the way of decoration – why compete with the marvellous view? However, the few decorative touches – cushions, pebbles, wall art – featured a bunch of positive slogans, often with a maritime feel. 

At first I smiled and then basically ignored the uplifting messages. But in an eyrie with little else to distract the eye (when not actually looking at the view), these pieces of advice gradually sunk in, like a sort of mantra. Dream, invited a pebble by the front door. Believe in your dreams, urged a canvas above the kitchen sink. By the sea all worries wash away, whispered a driftwood panel above the harbour boats.  

And actually, I decided, it was very sound advice. How often have you dreamed of something you would love to have in your life and then decided that it wouldn’t be possible, for one reason or another? But it’s okay to believe in a broadly positive future. There is always room for hope. 

And then what about the idea that water can wash away your troubles? I have a friend who has struggled with mental health issues, who has found that outdoor swimming stops the spiral of destructive thoughts like nothing else. Although that’s not for everyone, even a simple, candlelit bath can shift the mood quite wonderfully. What dream do you have? What dream will you believe in today?

Wellbeing notes: Lighting a candle for loved ones

01/12/2023 at 1:13 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 1 Comment
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On Christmas Eve I love to step out into the fresh air to drop off last minute gifts and cards. Last December, as I went from one household to the next, I enjoyed glimpsing different interiors, some brightly lit with festive lights, others quieter, but each one a home. 

One hall contained a special candle, lit for loved ones who had passed on. It was a touching reminder that we all suffer loss. These I remember: a white-haired neighbour in her cosy kitchen. My uncle who loved trains and working with wood. A friend who sent uplifting texts. And the gaps they’ve left behind will never quite be filled, because they were unique and wonderful beings. 

That beautiful sister who sewed ballgowns by hand; the handsome boyfriend of a friend who seemed a keeper; the grandmother who took pleasure in sending hundreds of cards; the pet who went missing one too many times… these individuals were all loved and then they were mourned. 

Since they left, new babies have been born. New friends have been made. New pets have been adopted. Life absolutely does go on. But remembering absent kith and kin is a golden part of the season. Because Christmas is above all about love. And, while we will always miss the ones who went before us, the love they left lives on. 

Wellbeing notes: Sparrowhawk meditation

01/10/2023 at 12:19 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a comment
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To live surrounded by nature is a privilege, and one I don’t take for granted. It feels extra special when animals – deer and hares in particular, as well as countless birds – trust humans enough to come up close.

Recently, this particular bird came calling: a female sparrowhawk. She was striking in every sense: strong, watchful and beautiful. I’d never seen one in such detail before, and was curious to read about her. 

The Eurasian sparrowhawk, also known as Accipiter nisus, is a modestly sized bird of prey. They live in woodland, and hunt smaller birds. Used in falconry, they’ve featured in poems, myths and stories from many cultures.

The sparrowhawk, small and fierce, is said to represent a warrior’s inner spirit, complete with a clear-sighted ability to see the whole picture. A simple meditation on these qualities can be uplifting and energising. 

Sit somewhere quietly. Take relaxed, even breaths. Then close your eyes and focus with your thoughts on the sparrowhawk’s characteristics – whatever comes to mind. You might think of its striped feathers and far-seeing eyes, You might think of its beauty, boldness and strength. 

As you continue to breathe in and out, be aware that those qualities are also within you. Feel a purposeful power filling the whole of your being. Enjoy that sense of strength; truly own it. And when you’re ready, open your eyes.

I hope you enjoy this nature meditation. The message of the sparrowhawk ultimately comes down to this: you are stronger and more able than you think.

Wellbeing notes: The therapy of small things

01/06/2023 at 9:57 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 Comments
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I’d come home from a really stressful term of studies. I was questioning everything I’d ever learnt, anxious about the truth and direction of my life. 

Home at that time was an Italian villa by a lake where water buffalo roamed, and mafiosi ruled. Home seemed so different from the English university I’d just left. And the contrast just made things worse.

But then something small happened. I was walking in the garden, between green lemon trees and a wall where purple bougainvillea grew. Beneath the wall, my mother and brother were positioning a section of flattened tree trunk. “It’s a bench,” my mum explained. 

Curiously, when she said that, something within me settled. All those big questions, crowding my mind… they were abstract problems. You couldn’t touch them, like you could touch the lemon trees or the bougainvillea. And a bench in the garden where people could sit, and maybe heal from whatever was troubling them… you could touch that. 

Right then, I began to appreciate the therapy of small things.

Fast forward to present times, to Wiltshire, in England. Last week, a young family friend came to stay, anxious and needing a break from uni. There was no handy tree trunk to turn into a bench. But I was looking after my neighbours’ hens. So, I invited her to help me feed them. 

As the hens tucked into lettuce, she visibly relaxed.  “I needed this,” she said.

And I hoped then that the therapy of small things had found another fan. 

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