Wellbeing notes: Being peaceful in a hectic world
01/04/2024 at 1:05 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 1 CommentTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, life skills, meditation, mindfulness, nature, Splendid Fairywren, wellbeing
A good friend once lived in a serene flat on a lively street. Cars sped past. Lorries lumbered. But in my friend’s lounge there was a picture of a temple garden that seemed to invite the viewer to breathe, and relax.
I’ve always loved the contrast between busyness and peace. Perhaps it dates back to an old tollbar cottage that my grandparents used to live in. We children slept under sloping eaves. Outside, cars zoomed. Inside, all was still. Yes, the traffic held dangers. But in the cottage, we always felt safe.
Now, this can require a certain amount of work, a shift of mindset. But sometimes, when you are surrounded by bustle, that’s when you can feel especially peaceful.
There is an old story that illustrates this. Weighed down by state business, an emperor was hungry for tranquillity. Three of the best artists in the land were summoned to produce a painting that would help him to feel calm.
The first artist painted a still lake. The second created an untrodden, snowy landscape. “Very nice,” said the emperor. And then he turned to the final painting, which didn’t seem tranquil at all: a forest waterfall crashing down from a great height. “This is the one,” exclaimed the emperor to his puzzled courtiers. And he pointed to a nest, where a bird slept soundly. “That,” said the emperor, “is true tranquillity.”
However hectic the world may be, I wish you the peace of true tranquillity.
Wellbeing notes: Believe, dream, rinse, repeat
01/03/2024 at 6:23 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 2 CommentsTags: Guidance, healing, inspiration, life skills, meditation, Mind body spirit, wellbeing
Recently I spent a couple of days by the sea. The apartment was a quiet, uncluttered space. There was little in the way of decoration – why compete with the marvellous view? However, the few decorative touches – cushions, pebbles, wall art – featured a bunch of positive slogans, often with a maritime feel.
At first I smiled and then basically ignored the uplifting messages. But in an eyrie with little else to distract the eye (when not actually looking at the view), these pieces of advice gradually sunk in, like a sort of mantra. Dream, invited a pebble by the front door. Believe in your dreams, urged a canvas above the kitchen sink. By the sea all worries wash away, whispered a driftwood panel above the harbour boats.
And actually, I decided, it was very sound advice. How often have you dreamed of something you would love to have in your life and then decided that it wouldn’t be possible, for one reason or another? But it’s okay to believe in a broadly positive future. There is always room for hope.
And then what about the idea that water can wash away your troubles? I have a friend who has struggled with mental health issues, who has found that outdoor swimming stops the spiral of destructive thoughts like nothing else. Although that’s not for everyone, even a simple, candlelit bath can shift the mood quite wonderfully. What dream do you have? What dream will you believe in today?
Wellbeing notes: Banana bread/tray bake recipe
01/02/2024 at 11:40 am | Posted in Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | 2 CommentsTags: hygge, imbolc, recipe, simple pleasures, wellbeing
There’s something about February. The land is just beginning to warm up, the days are becoming longer, and the snowdrops and aconites in nearby Lacock Abbey gardens are splashing the ground with beauty. After a bracing walk outdoors, it’s the perfect time to enjoy simple home comforts – including, very possibly, some easy baking.
One of my family’s favourite everyday recipes is banana bread. The version we like best comes from BBC Good Food. All you need is 140g each of butter, sugar and self-raising flour, two eggs, one teaspoon of baking powder and – of course – a couple of very ripe, mashed bananas.
Instead of the caster sugar that the BBC recipe calls for, we make use of whatever sugar is in the kitchen: granulated, or perhaps soft brown. We’ve discarded the old loaf tin in favour of a silicon, traybake mould –18cm x 18cm – which bakes quicker. When it’s out of the oven we drizzle it with around 70g icing sugar dissolved in a few teaspoons of water. And, as soon as it’s cool enough, we cut it into springy, fragrant squares roughly the size of a cupcake. There should have been more slices to include in this illustrative photo, but half of them were eaten straight away!
Banana bread is a great example of kitchen therapy – simple dishes, made mindfully, can be hugely soothing to the cook. The traybake pictured here was made during stormy weather, and the contrast between howling winds outside and cosy domesticity indoors is something to be cherished.
Wellbeing notes: Lighting a candle for loved ones
01/12/2023 at 1:13 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | 1 CommentTags: Bereavement, Christmas reflections, Guidance, healing, inspiration, mindfulness, Spirituality
On Christmas Eve I love to step out into the fresh air to drop off last minute gifts and cards. Last December, as I went from one household to the next, I enjoyed glimpsing different interiors, some brightly lit with festive lights, others quieter, but each one a home.
One hall contained a special candle, lit for loved ones who had passed on. It was a touching reminder that we all suffer loss. These I remember: a white-haired neighbour in her cosy kitchen. My uncle who loved trains and working with wood. A friend who sent uplifting texts. And the gaps they’ve left behind will never quite be filled, because they were unique and wonderful beings.
That beautiful sister who sewed ballgowns by hand; the handsome boyfriend of a friend who seemed a keeper; the grandmother who took pleasure in sending hundreds of cards; the pet who went missing one too many times… these individuals were all loved and then they were mourned.
Since they left, new babies have been born. New friends have been made. New pets have been adopted. Life absolutely does go on. But remembering absent kith and kin is a golden part of the season. Because Christmas is above all about love. And, while we will always miss the ones who went before us, the love they left lives on.
Wellbeing notes: Embracing wabi-sabi
01/11/2023 at 2:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized, Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: healing, inspiration, life skills, meditation, mindfulness, time passing, wabi-sabi, wellbeing
November is not a famously pretty month. Though autumn leaves are stunning, they won’t be around for much longer. The nights are getting longer, and the land colder… and that, in a nutshell, is why November is a great month to enjoy the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi.
Wabi-sabi is a philosophic outlook that accepts the imperfection of beauty. Wabi-sabi recognises that nothing lasts, and yet nothing is ever truly completed. Leaves in late autumn are a perfect example of this. A growing season has finished… and yet the trees will burst into new life in the new year.
There’s a sweetly melancholy element to wabi-sabi, inviting us to experience the sadness of beauty as it fades away. To face up to this – to accept that real life does not come air-brushed – is a form of mindfulness, which can lead to a healthy acceptance of ourselves in this moment. The message of wabi-sabi is that it’s okay to age; and it’s okay to feel sadness for what has been and now is gone. When we accept the melancholy, we are also accepting that the scars we gain through life are a valuable part of who we are. In our imperfection lies a different, rarer kind of beauty.
So I invite you today to look at your world through the principles of wabi-sabi. What, or who, embodies the subtler kind of beauty that comes through imperfection? What, or who, deserves cherishing?
Fiction notes: This is why libraries matter
15/10/2023 at 11:24 am | Posted in Fiction notes, Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: fiction reading, libraries, local community, reading community, reading inspiration, small town
Yesterday I discovered that my local library was built on the site of a long-vanished Royal palace. On the outside, the building is an unremarkable, 20th Century design. But inside, it’s sheer magic. There are stories to lose yourself in, factual books to learn from, and a huge digital resource of free knowledge and entertainment.
In the library, children develop life-long reading skills which increase their opportunities to thrive. Older people come for company, for fiction, and to learn something new. As a free community resource, there’s always something going on: rhyme time; board games and hot chocolate; book clubs, home library deliveries…
When I recently returned after a long absence, I wondered why I’d stayed away. The reason, I decided, was a bad habit of handing books in late, and having to pay a fine. But nowadays there’s an app for that! You receive a polite reminder, and an invitation to renew with a simple button-touch.
Friendly, inclusive and educational, public libraries deserve to be cherished. In an era which has seen hundreds of library closures, a thousand redundancies and reduced investment in stock, we can unfortunately no longer take these wonderful places for granted.
My local library is quite simply a treasure… and from this point on, through being a member and also volunteering there, I’m doing my bit to support it.
Wellbeing notes: Sparrowhawk meditation
01/10/2023 at 12:19 pm | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: Guidance, inspiration, meditation, mindfulness, nature, wellbeing
To live surrounded by nature is a privilege, and one I don’t take for granted. It feels extra special when animals – deer and hares in particular, as well as countless birds – trust humans enough to come up close.
Recently, this particular bird came calling: a female sparrowhawk. She was striking in every sense: strong, watchful and beautiful. I’d never seen one in such detail before, and was curious to read about her.
The Eurasian sparrowhawk, also known as Accipiter nisus, is a modestly sized bird of prey. They live in woodland, and hunt smaller birds. Used in falconry, they’ve featured in poems, myths and stories from many cultures.
The sparrowhawk, small and fierce, is said to represent a warrior’s inner spirit, complete with a clear-sighted ability to see the whole picture. A simple meditation on these qualities can be uplifting and energising.
Sit somewhere quietly. Take relaxed, even breaths. Then close your eyes and focus with your thoughts on the sparrowhawk’s characteristics – whatever comes to mind. You might think of its striped feathers and far-seeing eyes, You might think of its beauty, boldness and strength.
As you continue to breathe in and out, be aware that those qualities are also within you. Feel a purposeful power filling the whole of your being. Enjoy that sense of strength; truly own it. And when you’re ready, open your eyes.
I hope you enjoy this nature meditation. The message of the sparrowhawk ultimately comes down to this: you are stronger and more able than you think.
Fiction notes: These two aspects of character
15/09/2023 at 7:40 am | Posted in Fiction notes | 3 CommentsTags: character development, fiction writing, journalling, writing exercise, writing inspiration
Recently my mother rediscovered my old school journal, from when I was eight years old. Of course I was a bookworm then! It seems I’ve been a bibliophile all through my life.
Reading, for me, has alway gone hand in hand with writing – with the telling of stories; with the creation of fictional characters. This extract from my journal reveals, I believe, the essential stability of character. In certain, fundamental aspects I have not changed one iota from when I was eight. I’m still fascinated by stories, still intrigued by the way an author from past times can reveal truths that seem freshly relevant today.
Of course, I’m not exactly the same as when I was eight. Life has intervened. Countless events have acted on me like ocean waves over a pebble, shaping me differently to how I began.
In writing a novel, those twin aspects of character are both worth searching for, I believe. Which aspects of a person are fundamental… and how then are those aspects shaped by circumstance?
Writing exercise
Create a journal entry for your character, aged eight. At the top of the page, write ‘Hobbies’. Then write whatever comes to mind. What was your character’s main hobby when they were little? What does that reveal about them today?
Wellbeing notes: Coconut flapjack recipe
01/09/2023 at 9:28 am | Posted in Wellbeing notes | Leave a commentTags: oats, recipe, simple pleasures, sweet treats, wellbeing
Back in the 1970s, I was given a new, blank recipe book. The first treats I added were simple, buttery flapjacks, which tasted lovely, but were… gooey. Over the next two decades, in a string of London kitchens, I tweaked the original ingredients. The notebook filled up, but the flapjacks remained a favourite. They were so easy to make, and almost everyone liked them.
In the 2000s, cooking times were adjusted for an old Aga that I acquired, in Wiltshire. But then, unaccountably, the recipe book was put on a shelf and forgotten. Not any more, though. “Oh, my goodness, these are amazing,” said one friend. Another mentioned that oats and coconuts have lots of health benefits (some of the other ingredients, less so, but I reckon home-baked snacks are broadly better than packaged sweets). A few asked for the recipe. So here it is.
Ingredients
170 g butter
1 tbsp honey
1 tbsp golden syrup
170 g demerara sugar
280 g oats
30 g desiccated coconut
Handful of sultanas
Optional: 30 g chocolate chips
Method
Set oven at 150ºC (fan-assisted)/170ºC (conventional) or use baking oven of Aga.
Butter and line a square 7”/18cm baking tray.
Slice the butter and melt gently in a pan. Add honey and syrup, then sugar. Stir from time to time until dissolved.
Add oats and coconut to a large bowl. Pour melted mixture over and mix well. Stir in sultanas, and chocolate chips if using.
Transfer mixture to baking tray and press down with the back of a spoon.
Bake for 16 to 20 minutes, or until browning slightly at edges.
(If using Aga, place on oven shelf on floor of baking oven, or use roasting oven with cold shelf above.)
Remove from oven and leave to cool thoroughly before cutting into squares.
Fiction notes: Every bookish person needs a tote
15/08/2023 at 9:10 am | Posted in Fiction notes, Uncategorized | Leave a commentTags: Amor Towles, bookish, fiction reading, Maggie O'Farrell, one book at a time, reading community, TBR pile, wellbeing
Some days are manic. There are so many demands on my time, it’s hard to focus on just one thing. So I write lists and action plans and those help. But what also helps is a book tote. A book tote, in the right circumstances, can be a pocket of calm within a hectic life. Open the tote and, aah, the pleasure of reading emerges.
This is currently my favourite tote, found recently at Waterstones in Bath. That day, I bought one book, and popped it inside to carry it home. And I’ve repeated the exercise several times since then.
The key point is this: in a busy life, recreational reading can seem like a waste of time. But it never is. Reading fiction in particular brings new ideas, fresh insights and a dose of escapism. If you’re bookishly inclined, reading is a necessary luxury that recharges you for the manic times. A tote of stories brings respite from the daily grind.
My tote is designed purely to carry books – just one or two or maybe three at a time. That moment of putting a new volume in the bag brings a breath of calm, a sigh of relief, and the prospect of a mini-holiday from other commitments.
It’s important not to to over-stuff my book tote. Yes, I have a giant TBR pile at home but that, while a wonderful thing, can bring pressures of its own: I should have read this, I should have read that. In contrast, the book tote only contains what I might read in a week or so. And therefore, I often do.
Currently my tote contains A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles and The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox by Maggie O’Farrell. Both, curiously, feature sequestered lives, something I’m both drawn to and repelled by. The incarcerated characters in each novel cannot choose freedom. But moments of optional solitude – just me with a book, enjoying a mini-break from my crazy schedule – now they can be wonderful.
Do you have a book tote for selected, pared down reading? Or do you have another method of creating pockets of fiction reading in an often busy life?
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Suzanne Askham 