The healing power of envy
22/02/2013 at 11:17 am | Posted in Healing, Inspiration, Uncategorized | 12 CommentsTags: healing, innermost feelings, inspiration, life skills, positive thinking
Earlier this month I was lucky enough to tread the red carpet at the BAFTAs – the British version of the Oscars. I was there simply because my partner was invited. However much I like to think of myself as immune to star-spotting, I am not. It was huge fun to share a rain-soaked red carpet with George Clooney, Ben Affleck, Dame Helen Mirren and Marion Cottillard, among many others. It was fun when guests grabbed a spare BAFTA trophy and we posed for the camera. And sharing the photographs afterwards was all part of the pleasure.
A week later, I was sitting in my Wiltshire studio, facilitating a meditation group. We were focusing on the theme of forgiveness. After half an hour of silence, we swapped notes. A writer friend in the group, Claire, said something endearing. “I found it very hard to focus on forgiveness at the beginning of the meditation, because I just kept thinking how envious I was of Suzanne for going to the BAFTAs,” she confessed.
Everyone in the group laughed – it was a sweetly funny moment. But afterwards, it got me thinking.
The truth is, Claire and I are alike. Whenever I hear of someone’s good fortune, there is often some envy mixed up with delight. I am happy for them, of course. But there can also be a sense of being left out, like not receiving an invitation to a friend’s party.
Envy is said to be one of the Seven Deadly Sins; it’s an emotion we’re traditionally not supposed to feel. But we do feel it, so there must be some purpose to it. What purpose does envy serve?
After the meditation session, I decided to watch out for my next experience of envy, to see what I might learn. I didn’t have long to wait: it arrived with the morning post. Among the envelopes there was a programme for the upcoming Mind Body Spirit Festival in London. My eyes went straight to the workshops, and straight to the names of the facilitators. And then, I felt stirrings of envy.
The envy could only mean one thing: I would like to run a workshop at a large event like the Mind Body Spirit festival. But mixed up with the envy were stomach-churning feelings of inadequacy and fear. There was a mouse-like element to the fear that seemed to be saying in a firm yet squeaky voice: “It’s safer to stay at home.”
The wisdom of envy
I focused in on the envy again. And deep within its energy I found these words: “Remember who you are.” And then I realised that the spiritual purpose of envy is to help us to stay on our own unique path. That path does, for sure, take us out of our comfort zone. It may be a hard path, and the only way we can do it is one step at a time. I realised that envy was telling me to quit dreaming and start doing what was required – one step at a time.
It occurred to me that many of the speakers at the Mind Body Spirit Festival workshops have written books on their subject – some of my envy lay in that direction. I am indeed in the process of writing one, on the brand of intuitive meditation that I share with others – but progress is slow. And then I realised that I need to schedule regular, daily time to my project. It’s the only way I will complete it.
In a few weeks’ time I’m doing a talk on intuitive meditation in a local town. Someone has mentioned another great local group I might get in touch with. Each small step leads to the next. With the divine help of envy, I’m starting to follow my bliss.
Now it’s your turn. What do you, perhaps, feel envy about, and what might envy’s message be for you?
Thankful, optimism, support
01/02/2013 at 5:10 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 11 CommentsTags: affirmation, Guidance, happiness, inspiration, Intuition, positive thinking, solstice, wellbeing
This is a special bag: a beaded evening purse; handed down through the generations of my family. My mother gave it to me one day last December.
I typed out a list of positive, uplifting words, and printed several copies on card, then cut them up and popped them in the bag. During the Solstice, I invited many people, upwards of 80, to take a word out of the bag and keep it with them as guidance for the year ahead.
During the Solstice get-togethers I drew a total of three words for myself: ‘Thankful’, ‘Optimism’ and ‘Support’. I looked at them, felt their specialness, then put them down and forgot about them.
January came, with snows, then wind and rain. There were winter bugs in my household, which meant I didn’t get to the gym, or go walking, or swimming. I reduced my daily yoga… gradually, imperceptibly, I was putting my wellbeing on hold. This is never a good idea, I know. But still, it happened.
And then, just yesterday, I found my three words once more: ‘Thankful’, ‘Support’ and ‘Optimism’. I hugged them like old friends. How could I have forgotten them? The truth is, I need those words every day. Each word is a tiny, effective dose of wellbeing.
If you would like me to draw a word for you out of the bag, just ask, and I’ll be happy to send you your own little dose of wellbeing.
5 reasons to love December 2012
30/11/2012 at 3:44 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 CommentsTags: Guidance, inspiration, Intuition, positive thinking, Spirituality
“What is all this about December 2012?” asked a meditation student. “I’ve been hearing some scary stories about the 21st, the Solstice. Should we be worried? Should I be preparing in any way?”
“What kind of scary stories?” I asked, though I had a pretty good idea.
“Oh, that there’s going to be some kind of natural disaster. You know, the world coming to an end; the Apocalypse…I’ve been reading about it.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’m going to give you some good reasons why we should love December 2012.” And here they are…
1) December 21st 2012 is the shortest day of the year, and also the date when a long cycle in an ancient South American calendar system, known as the Mayan Calendar, comes to an end. It has been suggested that this date will bring calamity. But calendars don’t create or predict events. They simply mark the days. And in any case, a new Mayan cycle starts on December 22nd.
Borders are always significant, and this border between two vast periods of time creates a pause. Within that pause there is an opportunity for old, outmoded ways of thinking to vanish, and a new, more humane outlook to flourish. This can be good for all of us.
2) Alarmist predictions about this month can actually teach us how to tell the difference between our ungrounded fears – in this case, a fear of the unknown – and our intuition. Intuition literally means ‘in-tuition’ and it is a form of teaching. We all know that good teachers care for their students and help them to achieve their best. So true guidance, whether it’s within you, or from someone in the wider world, is reassuring and uplifting – always. Trust your guidance.
3) A date can have powerful symbolic meaning, and this can be used in good and helpful ways. So, for example, December 21st 2012 is acting as a powerful focus for the ever-growing holistic movement. This movement can be summed up as this: the realization that we are all one. Humanity is one, magnificent, glorious being who is just beginning to learn that the only person we’ve been fighting all this time is ourselves – and that when we are kind to others, we are kind to ourselves.
4) This month may truly turn out to be an Apocalypse, in a positive way. The word ‘apocalypse’ comes from ancient Greek, and originally meant ‘uncover, reveal’. It developed an additional meaning of ‘insight’ or ‘vision’. So perhaps we are living through an apocalypse; perhaps it has already started. But this is a good thing. Over the past 12 months we’ve had covert wrong-doings exposed in people who run countries, businesses, banks and charities. We are living in a more transparent time, and that is to be welcomed. We are also, finally, accepting our intuitive and visionary abilities, having learnt in the last century that science and logic can lead to inhumane actions on a planetary scale. We need our insight. We need our vision.
5) Each of us can use the potential energy of this time in excellent ways. You can focus during the whole of December, and especially around the time of the Winter Solstice on the 21st, on love and peace, feeling it in your own heart, towards yourself, your family, your community, your country, and this whole beautiful planet. While you do this, you will know that countless other people are doing the same, all over the world. What we think and feel does manifest in the outer world – and the positive energy we can generate together is beautiful. Be loving to yourself, and loving to the world.
That is the real meaning of this amazing time that we are living in.
PS For your free copy of my Happiness Meditation mp3, just click here.
This moment now
30/07/2012 at 10:25 am | Posted in Happiness, Meditation, Nature, Uncategorized, Wellbeing | 1 CommentTags: affirmation, flowers, Guidance, inspiration, meditation, nature, Spirituality, wellbeing
This moment now is all we ever have, but it’s enough, because it’s everything.
Have a magical day.
Happiness is being open
27/07/2012 at 6:58 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 CommentsTags: Guidance, happiness, inspiration, Intuition, meditation, wellbeing
This week has been all about happiness: pure happiness. My meditation groups have been focusing on the word – they have breathed in “I am”, and breathed out “happiness”. Then, just this morning, I recorded a ‘Happiness’ guided meditation, which I will send out to people when they book a place on my September Intuitive Development course.
One of my favourite intuitive insights from a week of happiness is this: the opposite of happiness is control.
“Surely the opposite of happiness is unhappiness?” pointed out one guy in a group session.
That’s true, of course. However, consider the happiness levels of a young child. They are not especially in control of their lives. But in any given moment, a child can find happiness in playing with absolutely anything that comes his or her way, whether it be a twig, some earth, or a bowl of water (or even better, all three together).
Consider, in contrast, the last time you organised a fun event, like a party. Did you freely enjoy it, or did you spend a portion of your time worrying about everything that might go wrong?
When we try to control how things will turn out, that’s where unhappiness lies. In contrast, when we open up to life and accept surprises along the way, that’s when we experience happiness.
So after a week of focusing on happiness, have my happiness levels risen? Definitely, by around 100%. There’s been less rushing, and more enjoying the moment. If you haven’t done this already, I warmly recommend it: sit somewhere quietly for 20 minutes or half an hour. Breathe in “I am”, and breathe out “happiness”. And just see where the word takes you.
Spirit of the Earth
15/06/2012 at 5:06 pm | Posted in Meditation, Nature, Uncategorized | 3 CommentsTags: inspiration, meditation, nature
Following on from my last post about the Stone Age and the base chakra, here is a favourite verse, from the Navajo Blessing Way, placed with a photo I took last week in the Dordogne, France, centre of the Stone Age. Enjoy.
Three-minute healing circle
10/12/2011 at 3:48 pm | Posted in Healing, Meditation, Uncategorized | 14 CommentsTags: happiness, healing, inspiration, meditation, Spirituality, wellbeing
Ideally, do this after a daily practice of meditation, when the mind is still and calm, and the body rested, yet alert.
Sit comfortably, with your eyes closed and your back straight, in a peaceful place where you won’t be disturbed. Take a few deep breaths, releasing any thoughts, knowing this time is for you, and for those who may wish for your help…
First minute: create the healing circle.
As you breathe in, picture a white light in the centre of you, glowing and sparkling brightly, like a diamond. As you breathe out, picture the white light radiating outwards from your hands, creating a large white circular space in front of you: a healing space. As you continue to breathe out, send out an invitation to all who may wish for healing, to enter the circle. Each time you breathe in, see the diamond at the centre of you glowing and sparkling ever more brightly. Each time you breathe out, see the healing circle in front of you shining more and more brightly. Continue to send out a general invitation to all who may wish for healing.
Second minute: maintain the healing circle.
As you breathe in, and as you breathe out, continue to maintain the shining white healing circle in front of you. See people enter the circle, and stand in it, soaking up the healing white light. You may recognise people; you may see strangers; you may see a mixture of both. You may see nothing; just trust in the process and continue. The people do not see you. They simply approach the circle and stand inside it, soaking up the light. As you continue to breathe in and out, be aware that the whole of you, too, is glowing and sparkling with healing white light.
Third minute: close down the healing circle.
Send out a thank you to all who have entered the circle, and watch them begin to leave. As you continue to breathe in and out, gradually let the light settle down, fade, and return to normal levels. As it does so, the last people leave the circle, and then the circle itself vanishes.
The minutes don’t have to be exact. They’re just a rough guide.
Three Happy Moments Game
23/11/2011 at 8:17 pm | Posted in Happiness, Parenting, Uncategorized, Wellbeing | 1 CommentTags: affirmation, inspiration, life skills, positive thinking, success, wellbeing
This is a great game to share with a child, partner or friend at the end of the day. And it’s guaranteed to make the toughest days seem better…
Simply take it in turns to share a first happy moment that happened during the day; then a second; then a third. Choose anything that comes to mind; they don’t have to follow chronological order. Here are some examples:
* seeing a tree with brightly coloured leaves, with the sun shining through them
* a letter containing good news
* thoughtful praise from a colleague
* sharing a laugh with a friend
* seeing your child’s face light up when you picked them up from school
* a blissful half-hour of meditation
* the unexpected fragrance of flowers as you walked by.
* a healthy work-out at the gym, or a yoga practice.
Over time, you get a very clear idea of the things that make you and your loved ones happy. And the more you focus on those, the more often those happy things happen. This is a win-win game.
Looking at the world through angels’ eyes
10/09/2011 at 10:10 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 CommentsTags: inspiration, meditation, nature, wellbeing

My daughter calls these angel clouds. They are a great reminder of a simple truth: when we rise above a problem we look at it with different eyes. Suddenly, we can see the big picture. We can actually see beauty where perhaps before we just saw stress and sadness.
Look at this picture, taken last week over Southern England. Everything is beautiful if you look at it from a higher perspective.
Answers in the maze
14/08/2011 at 9:00 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 CommentsTags: Guidance, Intuition, maze
Someone I love faces a difficult medical decision: accept invasive treatment or follow a more holistic route?
This person looks to me for guidance, and I have none to give. My mind has seized up with indecision. What on earth is the best way forward?
I head to La Seigneurie Gardens on the island of Sark for inspiration. Here, old stone walls create a micro-climate which is surely good for humans as well as plants.
There happens to be a maze in the garden, and I decide to use the maze to help me reconnect with my own inner guidance.
At the entrance to the maze, I ask the question in my mind: surgery, or holistic route?
I become aware of my own fears for this person I love. The fears are frankly getting in the way of guidance. So I consciously put them to one side and hand the question over to the universe, the invisible powers that be. I let go of any attachment to a particular outcome. I know that the person I love will be looked after. I begin to feel calmer.
The first thing that happens is that I get help.
The maze has a small wooden castle right at the centre. Three girls have reached the castle and climbed it. They have a good view of the maze and they shout out instructions to me: “Turn right, turn left; now straight on…
“Watch out for the monster around the next bend,” they add. This sounds faintly alarming… until I see the monster. After that, I reach the centre very quickly.
The second thing that happens is that I feel slightly disappointed. Being told exactly how to reach the centre takes away the sense of adventure. It’s actually fun to take a wrong turn and then discover the way forward.
The third thing that happens is that I decide to explore the maze for myself. Deliberately, I go the wrong way, again and again. And guess what I find out?
There is more than one route through the maze. Actually, there are several – including some natural gaps in the hedges.
The fourth thing that happens is that my head clears and I can see the way forward for the person I love.
The three girls are like the medics: they have found a route through the maze, and they want to help others follow exactly their path. In fact, the girls are so persuasive, when you follow their instructions it can seem that theirs is the only way forward.
But life is simply not like that. There are always more options available and the right one for you is the one that feels right.
And the monster in the maze? Well, in dreams the monster frequently represents some aspect of ourselves that we have walled off, believing it’s not acceptable. But when we face the monster, we discover it’s not nearly as bad as we feared. It just wants to be listened to, and then it will transform.
So the monster is a reminder of the more feared aspects of our own psyche… aspects that can contain the riches of our soul.
As I leave the garden I know exactly the guidance I will give the person I love and, if they choose, they can repeat the same words to their persuasive medics:
“There is more than one route through the maze.”
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